


Snow   on  a Quiet  Winter's  Night

by ckit3



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Compromise, Condoms, Consent, Decisions, Developing Relationship, Eros Viktor, First Time, Fluff, Friendship, Healing, Ice Skating, Idiots in Love, Illnesses, Implied Sexual Content, Injury, Life and Love, Love, M/M, Mild Smut, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Personal Growth, Phone Sex, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Rating May Change, Relationship(s), Romance, Separation Anxiety, Soul Bond, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Supportive Yuri Plisetsky, Training, lovers/rivals, pre-leukemia, transplant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckit3/pseuds/ckit3
Summary: My first Soulmark AU  -- a fairytale of sorts inspired by a story I read that was never completed listed on another site.Sometimes  it can be difficult, if not impossible to locate the one person in all the world sharing your unique birthmark.   Sometimes  that person lives their whole life never knowing you even exist.   When  the legendary skater Viktor Nikiforov  turned 27 he had nearly given up hope,   he never expected  discovering the truth rested in a  promising Japanese skater who had disappeared from the public eye  plagued by rumors after a disastrous season and an embarrassing spectacle at the prior year's Grand Prix party.He never expected to find his soulmate 's profile on the recently created, controversial site listing people hoping to find their soulmates before they die.He never expected that he might be someone's hero. Or that he might be in need of saving as well.





	1. Chapter  One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ashes,Blue skies and Snowflakes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/384197) by Math_n_Meth. 



> Call this a labor of love, inspired by a story never finished(I am grateful the author is okay with this) with alterations including some things I have had experience with though second hand. I always wanted a little more realistic tale like this, so Yuuri's illness in this is based on my knowledge of what someone I knew went through.  
> This will have a happier ending.  
> I added link to original, I think it got deleted somehow and I wanted to be sure I included it. The story is Ashes,Blue Skies and Snowflakes by Math_n_Meth on Wattpad.
> 
> \-----------  
> Give me a little more time, I am very sorry this has not been updated in a very long time. I hope there is still interest and I will be forgiven for allowing other projects to take my attention. For anyone reading this I am re reading and getting acquainted with my notes and starting to work on this again. Once more forgive all inaccuracies, I am more familiar with the illness not the actual treatments other than research. That and the competition season will probably not be accurate but I will do what I can.   
> I hope you are still interested and hope to have an update before the end of the year, currently working on scenes from several chapters right now and if everything goes okay then it won't be too much longer.

Following the successful completion of yet another season Viktor Nikiforov should have felt content, happy and ready to prepare for the next one. Once again he'd performed in utter perfection, gathering gold quite easily at the Russian Nationals, the European, the Grand Prix and the Worlds. Just as it had been for five years now, the culmination of over 20 years of hard work and sacrifice as he devoted his life to skating. In all those years there was room for little else and for most of those years he reveled in every moment. What more could he ask for? What else was there but the ice, the cheering crowds, the sponsors begging him to promote them, and the glory of being above all others and making his country proud? He had more money than he needed, had the world at his feet as well but lately something was off. 

Viktor himself had been the first to notice, even before the commentators, the posts online and interviews began to speak of it. Though his routines were flawless there was something missing. That undefinable spark of pure joy once so pronounced in his skating was fading. He could no longer surprise his audience, no longer feel the nervous excitement of a competition, the satisfaction and pride of having that gold medal placed over his head to the cheers of the crowd. All of it had become too easy, too normal. 

When they'd asked him about his plans for the next season he found no response. 

Viktor found himself wondering if they were right, that perhaps it was time he retired. At 27 he was indeed beyond the age most skaters retired and he could not compete forever. But he had known nothing but skating for most of his life, sacrificed everything else to be where he was today. For most of those years it was enough. Only recently had he been wondering if perhaps he'd sacrificed too much in his reach for perfection. The ice was everything to him, the place he felt truly at home. 

Standing in his bedroom facing a full length mirror he considered the mark on his right shoulder, the white snowflake pattern that was his personal soul mark. By tradition somewhere out there in the world someone else possessed a matching birthmark. Not since his teenage years had he spent much time considering when or if he would ever meet that person, the one fated to be his mate. There simply had been no time. 

It was odd how time could so easily slip by unnoticed. 

There were moments when it seemed only a short time had passed since his junior debut. 

Sighing deeply he considered the mark that appeared there on his shoulder when he was four, the signal that his soulmate had been born. The first time he felt the certainty that he was not alone in this world. Someone out there existed just for him. All the childish wonder he felt then was quickly forgotten as he flung himself into skating. He'd been far too young to realize how very complicated life truly was and if he was going to succeed he needed to put everything into training, this being one of few things Yakov taught him that he believed without question. He wanted only to be strong, to find perfection and he told himself it could only be found if he sought it alone. 

Why lately was he considering if he'd been wrong in neglecting other facets of life? Why now was he wondering if he had messed up any chance he might have had to find his soulmate?

Viktor turned to regard the large, fluffy mass sleeping comfortably on his massive bed. His companion since his 16th birthday and something that had also been left behind too often during his travels. 

"Do you think I will ever find him Makkachin? " he wondered out loud, dark eyes blinking open at the sound of his name. 

There had never been a doubt that his soulmate would be male, he had felt that certainty almost since the mark appeared and did not question it. There were times in the quiet of his room when he sought sleep but found it eluding his grasp that he could almost form a face in his mind. 

He wondered if it might be too late to start looking. There were those that gave up, who lived their life never finding their soulmate and perhaps finding love with another. Sometimes they never found love. But he was Viktor Nikiforov, the legendary Ice Prince of Russia was he not? When had he not achieved what he wished to accomplish? 

If his soulmate was out there of course he would find him. 

Thinking on this he unconsciously began to touch the white snowflake mark, trying once more to focus on creating a clearer image in his mind. 

"Where are you?" he muttered the question to himself, unwilling to disturb the sleeping mass of fur settled contentedly on his bed.


	2. Chapter  Two

It snowed all night, covering the world in a blanket of clean white. Even the blossoming cherry trees were coated by sparkling white somehow only making the pink hues of the budding flowers stand out more. Snow in April was a rare event, especially in the southern areas of Japan when the cherry trees were just beginning to bloom. Finding it difficult to sleep yet again Yuuri watched the snowfall from his bedroom window , wondering at how very quiet it seemed that morning. He couldn't help but feel guilty that his father would probably have to clear the snow, the job should be his. But he felt so weak yesterday and now today, weak and restless. A full night's sleep seemed as rare as this late snowfall now. This was part of this current existence he'd been thrust into so abruptly barely 18 months ago after a routine doctor visit.

This was the new normal. Some days he managed better than others, though his bad days were quickly beginning to outnumber the good. Even if he wanted to, even if he could manage it, he could't really go out there in the snow. He had to be so careful now, not to get sick, not to risk infections or anything that might cause him to bleed. There were a lot of rules to follow now. He wanted at least to help out with the onsen but his family refused to allow him contact with the customers fearing they would unknowingly bring him an unwelcome sickness and put him back in the hospital. He'd spent more than enough time there already these past months. 

He joked to his best friend and one time rink mate Phichit that they should have a room reserved especially for him by now considering how often he ended up there even if only for the occasional, necessary blood transfusions. 

Everything had gone so very wrong. 

He was finally becoming an accomplished skater, winning competitions and receiving praise for his efforts. All those years of training were finally paying off, he was set to skate on the same ice as his idol the legendary Viktor Nikiforov. 

Life could be so very cruel at times. The things you were given could be snatched away in an instant. 

There were moments he told himself he deserved all of this, that he had been fooling himself all along anyway. How could he possibly be talented enough to be considering anything even close to Viktor's level as a skater?

Yuuri did his best after discovering that something inside him was actively seeking to destroy him, taking all the advice and precautions his doctor instructed of him. The fact that the news came just before he was set to compete in his first Grand Prix had been the first blow, then came the news that his dog Vicchan had died. No wonder he messed up and came in last. He ended up sobbing like a child in the bathroom and trying to tell his mother that he was coming home. Though he'd been away for five years training in Detroit as well as attending college and he wanted to go home, this wasn't the expected way. 

Sometimes he regretted going to his doctor that day, but he had been feeling not quite right and Celestino his coach insisted. He hated the fact that he didn't even explain why he was coming home until he got there. He would never get the looks on his family's faces when he got up the courage to tell them, assuring them that Celestino had his medical records transferred to who he insisted was the best doctor in the area to see to his further care. 

Abandoning his hopes and dreams seemed necessary. But he would give anything to be able to skate just once more. 

It wasn't supposed to be this way. He wasn't supposed to become a burden to his parents. It was his duty as their son to help them, to make them proud of him and continue the family name. They already had so many other responsibilities managing this onsen. He should be helping them not adding to their problems. 

A light knock on his bedroom door brought Yuuri out of his thoughts as his mother appeared as bright and smiling as always with a tray in her hands as one hand slid the door panel open allowing her to step inside. 

"Isn't the snow a nice surprise?" she said, setting the tray down on the table beside the bed where her son sat watching her. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

Yuuri shook his head. "Not much." 

It was in her eyes, the sadness she concealed in her usual optimistic attitude and he tried not to think of this as his fault. On the tray he found the usual glass of water, the pills his doctor assured him would help keep him from getting worse but Yuuri knew only delayed the inevitable, and breakfast his stomach did not want. He took the pills and downed them with a few gulps of the water. There were pills that would help him sleep, his doctor told him as much, but Yuuri was tired of pills. 

He was really tired of doctors and promises as well, but he would never say that to his family. He couldn't bring himself to tarnish their hopes. 

"You need to eat, " she told him "You know you need the protein so please take a couple bites of the protein bar for me."

How could he refuse her? He'd been enough trouble for her so he took the bar, unwrapped and took a tentative bite. These things weren't disgusting, he just didn't feel hungry lately. From what he knew that wasn't a good sign. His mother seemed satisfied at least so he forced a couple bites down.

"The nurse will be here on time today to check up on you and take blood." she reminded him, moving around the room to pick up discarded clothes and tidy up. 

"Vampires.." he muttered, mostly to himself. It was what he called them since they were always so concerned with his blood. The focus of everything now, his blood and the numbers of this or that hoping that they went up so he could avoid another transfusion for awhile longer. 

That made his mother smile, "You know why they do it, they want to keep you stable."

"I know, sorry"

"You have nothing to apologize for, " she said, now facing him with his clothes from the day before draped over her arms. She looked as tired as he felt. "We're hoping if the weather turns warmer soon we can take you out to see the cherry blossoms. Your sister found a place that shouldn't be crowded ."

"That sounds nice." he wanted to be hopeful, didn't want to bring his mother more pain. 

"Good, I'll come back in a bit for the tray. " with that she left him there. 

Alone once again Yuuri took the small hand mirror he kept on his bedside table, unbuttoning his pajama top so he could look at the mark on his right shoulder blade. This had become a familiar ritual when he felt particularly melancholic, regarding the snowflake patter he'd had since birth and wondering what would become of the one who shared this mark. The one he'd always hoped to meet one day. When he was gone, what would his soulmate feel? 

There was a saying that if you touched the mark at the same time as your soulmate both of you would feel a warm sensation. Yuuri felt it once when he was twelve and used to try often so he could feel it again with no success. Lately he'd begun trying again, inwardly praying for some sort of contact, some reassurance that he wasn't alone. 

Gingerly he touched it, tracing the pattern until he felt it again. To his shock the warmth spread out from the mark throughout his body like a fire causing tears to form in his eyes. This was more intense than the time when he was a child, so intense he wanted to cry. 

Deep inside he called out to whoever his unlucky soulmate might be, seeking comfort and solace from the shadows gathering around him. Maybe he was being selfish and it would only bring pain to someone he might never come to know but Yuuri had nowhere else to turn in his mind. He was tired of being courageous and strong, constantly fighting against a relentless unseen force that seemed intent on destroying him from within. 

Maybe there was some small hope for him. Still, if there was no hope then he wanted his soulmate to at least know he existed.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize ahead of time if I get certain things wrong, research and memory might be faulty and I'm not sure if things in Japan are handled the same as in the U.S. I'm not going deep into any of this, just the basics. This might become therapy for me anyway.
> 
> I'm glad for the positive response so far and for the okay to take someone's idea and create something new.

It started as a light tingle, slowly making its way throughout his body with a shocking intensity nearly bringing him to his knees. Viktor had only felt something close to this when he was sixteen after he'd read about things like this happening if two soulmates touched their mark at the same time. Back then he experimented with touching the mark several times until he finally felt something but he had more important things to occupy his mind and time. Or so he thought. This time it was so much stronger, breaking the ice surrounding his heart and bringing a welcome warmth. Greedy for more he gave in to the emotions flowing out through his body. 

Along with the warmth he felt sadness, not his own but coming from that other place, the one fated to be his. A sadness so very deep it brought tears to his eyes. Perplexed ,Viktor reached up to wipe the droplets in wonder. He hadn't cried for so many years, not since he was a child. If he hadn't become so numb, if he hadn't turned his back on everything to pursue his own ambitions Viktor knew this sadness would not exist. 

As the tears flowed he begged inwardly for forgiveness, for ignoring his responsibility to the one who needed him more than he needed the ice. When the feeling began to fade he wanted to grasp at it, to make it stay and keep this tenuous connection longer. 

In the aftermath Viktor experienced a new purpose, a new determination that brought back the inspiration to his heart. 

\---------------

 

Alone in his room Yuuri Katsuki curled up in his bed sobbing openly. All of the pain, frustration and anger were released as the warmth faded from his tired body. Try as he might it did not stay. He didn't want it to end, not yet. He wanted to skate again, to compete against and gain the respect of those he looked up to. Now he faced an unknown time limit and a ruthless enemy draining him little by little. 

He did his best not to let his family see him like this, finding shame in being so weak and useless. So unlike the name he had been given. This wasn't like him, Yuuri knew he was a fighter and he did not like losing. 

The sound of his phone declaring a message broke him out of the fog . Forcing himself to calm Yuuri found his phone on the bedside table and smiled, wiping away the remnants of his tears seeing who it was contacting him. Phichit was already up and on his phone. The message itself broadened Yuuri's smile, imagining his friend's excitement. 

\---Ciao Ciao is finally going to let me use the music I've been bugging him about for two years now. It's great. Can not wait to show off the costumes when they show up.

\--Your obsession, The King and the Skater? You wore him down at last. --Yuuri was impressed

\---So excited! Definitely going to make it to the Grand Prix next season. 

\---You'd better or I'll tell Celestino to take your phone.

\---You can not be so cruel to me! My phone is my life...besides skating of course. 

\--and annoying me-- Yuuri teased him 

\---That is a lie, your life would be so boring without me and you know it!

Phichit was determined that Yuuri experience everything through his adventures on and off the ice, sharing all of it through pictures and videos. Anyone else would only be annoying, reminding him of what he no was no longer able to do. But his friend had only a desire to give him happiness, always offering a shoulder to cry on and to vent his frustrations. 

\--are you up for a few games? -- Phichit messaged him

\--its bloodwork day--- Yuuri texted back, reminding him

\---I know. Thought you might want to vent? Team up and do some major damage to someone's day? 

Yuuri chuckled at that, Phichit always seemed to know. He couldn't ask for a better friend.

\--later maybe. I'm glad you texted I wanted to ask something

\--sure anything you need. -- Phichit meant that, 

\--Remember that site I told you about, the one Yuuko recommended?-- Yuuri texted him 

\---Site? You mean you're going to do it? I am so going to help you find your soul mate Yuuri! 

Yuuri wished he possessed half of his friend's enthusiasm right now. The site Yuuko found listed profiles of people like him. People who had only a short time to find the one who shared their birthmark before they were gone forever. In the beginning Yuuri thought it better not to know, to prevent whoever his soul mate might be from sharing his pain. Now he wondered if he was only being selfish and that not knowing might harm his soul mate even more. 

\---Don't overdo it Phichit, this might not even work. It's not like anyone's looking for me.

\---Won't know until we try. I can guarantee your success with a profile I create, I am the best. Be more positive, we can do this! Give me a few minutes and don't check it after, you'll make me take it down.

Yuuri wondered why he should be surprised that Phichit had everything ready. 

He had tried finding the one who shared his mark a few years before with no luck, but he'd also been busy training so he never had enough time for a deep search. That was also before he got sick. Before anything other than skating, college and joining Phichit on his adventures while they shared a rink in Detroit had priority in his life. 

He wasn't too certain allowing Phichit free reign to complete his profile would be a good idea though. Still it gave him a bit of much needed hope. If there was even a slight chance then he had to try while he could. 

\---When I'm done promise me we'll play a few rounds. Guang Hong is waiting and he swears he can get Leo to join, you need this!

Phichit was impossible. Yuuri didn't know anyone else with such vibrant enthusiasm. 

\--Have we played with them before?--- Yuuri thought he knew the names but wasn't certain. 

Yuuri could almost hear his friend sighing before he responded. 

\--You really need to get more friends, not that anyone could take my spot. That is not happening. They're skaters I met online and don't worry no talking about skating. I made the rule. You need this Yuuri.--

\--Okay, I give in. I have a couple hours before the nurse shows.--- Yuuri replied, smiling despite himself. 

\--You won't regret it! Get everything set up on your end and I will be right back.-- Phichit ended the conversation

There was no fighting Phichit when he was in full mode and Yuuri knew he meant well. Though he doubted anything could fully keep his fears from creeping back in. But his friend was probably right, he needed something to get his mind off everything. 

As for whatever profile Phichit was planning on creating, Yuuri decided he probably didn't want to know.


	4. Chapter  Four

He was watching someone skate. Though he couldn't quite make out anything beyond a faceless presence he could not look away. There was a familiarity to this man whose image he could not see clearly, something that called to him in an almost primal manner. The nameless,faceless form glided along the ice with practiced ease, spinning, soaring to music Viktor didn't hear. It wasn't long before he recognized one of his old routines, when he'd first debuted in the senior division and before he'd cut his hair. Back when he still felt the passion, the joy of just being in the moment and skating to the cheers of the audience, when all was new and bright and exciting. The way he longed to skate again. 

They were alone here in this unfamiliar rink. 

No cheering crowds, no coach complaining about his artistic technique or competitors waiting for him to fail. 

It was only the two of them and the ice.

The skater captivated him, seeming to be almost one with the music only he could hear. As if the man himself created the music as he moved with such careful, beautiful grace and skill. Viktor tried but he could not see the man clearly, though he wanted to more than anything. He wanted the man to see him there as well, but that too never happened. 

It was only when the skater attempted Viktor's signature move, a quad flip, that he sensed that something went wrong. The moment he saw the mistake he moved, gliding on skates he wasn't aware he was wearing in an attempt to reach him before he fell. Viktor caught him, holding him close as they fell and kept falling, passing through the ice and continuing down into a dark abyss. 

He was unwilling to let go, holding on until the end. Until the darkness consumed them both.

\------- ------

 

Viktor woke abruptly, sweat coating his shaking body and holding tightly onto Makkachin. When he let go the dog peered at him, a concerned look in those dark eyes. The remnants of his nightmare scattering through his mind as he fought to make sense of what he experienced. 

It wasn't real. He knew that. But he'd never experienced such a vivid dream. He remembered feeling the cold, the sound of skates slicing into the ice and holding the warmth of the one he held so tightly in his arms as they fell.

His soulmate was out there and somehow Viktor knew he was needed. Such a new and tender feeling was tempered with the knowledge that he still had no clue where he might be. In the shadows of his room, idly stroking Makkachin's furry back to calm them both, Viktor had an odd sense of urgency in his gut. Silently he hoped this was nothing, just his own anxiety regarding his failure to even attempt finding the one who shared this mark. He could tell himself all the excuses his mind created but he knew the truth. 

He'd been neglecting other aspects of his life for over twenty years now, things that should be essential to his well being, in life and love. 

Viktor had stubbornly shrugged off all criticism regarding his nearly obsessive devotion to skating, believing sacrifices were necessary if he was ever going to stay on top. 

Until now he hadn't considered that he might be wrong. 

The search started off badly. Viktor had made the mistake of assuming at first that his soulmate would also be Russian. R.eaching out to the people who helped one find their soulmate in his home country provided no results so he broadened the search to other countries. Some were notoriously private with their information, stubbornly believing proper matches for their people only existed among their people. There were barriers he could not hope to break even with connections his position gave him. Viktor prayed his match did not live where he could never find hi. 

Yakov became furious at him for missing practice two days in a row, threatening to come to his apartment and drag him there with a tone Viktor could only smile at. For once in all his twenty seven years he had something more important than his skating to occupy his full attention and he felt positively inspired. He hadn't felt so invigorated in far too long even if he was failing. He hadn't realized just how dull and predictable his life had become lately.

On the morning of the third day when he was about to give in and head off to practice yet another surprise came in the form of a text from his friend Christophe announcing his arrival in St Petersburg. The same man he'd spent hours talking to the day before .

 

They had been friends for almost their entire careers, meeting in juniors and continuing to find themselves in competitions together. They faced each other many times, ending up on the podium together often. There was no one Viktor trusted more, it was natural to turn to Chris for advice, but his friend's response to his problems had been more than a bit unexpected. Chris waved off any concerns saying he was on his way somewhere anyway and this was only a brief stop. 

Viktor did not believe him. But he was glad for the company. 

Chris himself had been lacking a soul mark, he was not born with one and it never appeared in all his life, but he had never given up. He found love and beamed with newfound joy, so much so that Viktor felt guilty sharing his problems. The matter of soul marks could be surprisingly complicated and inexact. Some never find their match, others find it only to discover they lack compatibility and end up as friends or less. His rinkmate Mila discovered her soul mate in a hockey player who only ended up cheating on her incurring her wrath. 

"It was so close to me yet I didn't notice, how stupid could I be? How many times had our paths crossed before we realized our connection? " Chris said regarding Viktor from across their table at the chosen cafe. "Ah, but here I am gushing when you need my help, the very reason I am here."

"It's fine Chris, you deserve to be happy and I'm glad for you. You didn't have to come here like this, I will be okay. " Viktor said "It's just so frustrating and far more difficult than expected."

"How can I possibly celebrate my new found happiness when my friend is suffering?" Chris asked, "If I am forced to compete this season without my primary motivation then I want it to be for a good cause. I have not come here without a gift for you. Something you might find useful in your search."

Chris handed Viktor a business card announcing a website in English on one side, something handwritten on the back that seemed to be a code along with a signature. 

"Starcrossed.org... another site? I've already tried so many Chris," Viktor said "not that I wish to deny your offer of help but I've already registered with countless sites and gone through many identification checks that I doubt this one place will be different. All of them tell me I must wait."

"This is not the usual site, you can only get in by recommendation. The site assures its users of complete privacy and though you may not like what you find it will be better for you to know so you can decide what to do. " Chris told him "This site has clients in countries and places you can't normally reach along with those searching for their soulmate before they die. Though I hate to consider the last option . Thus the need for privacy." 

"How did you find this place if it is so private?" Viktor asked 

Chris shrugged. "The love of my life knows someone who found their mate through this, though I hope your ending will be better. Life can be exceedingly cruel and I dread facing another season without sharing the podium again with you and my desire to finally break your streak. But if you are finally ready to seek other pleasures besides the ice what can I do but help?"

"You can try." Viktor told him, smiling even as he issued the challenge. "So, if it is so private how does it work? What must I do now?"

"That code on the back will give you access, my love has surprising connections since he belongs to my country's skating federation. There should be no need to verify identity, just a scan of your mark. The rest is up to fate and I hope fate will be kind to you as it has been to me." Chris smiled, hazel eyes beaming as he raised his coffee cup as if in a toast. "I look forward to hearing you brag to me about the love you discover. There is much to be said about exploring pleasures within an exclusive relationship."

That made Viktor laugh. "Those are words I never expected you would say,Chris."

"Love changes you Viktor. Trust me, you will understand. True it can be difficult, one must work to keep what you're given, but the rewards are more than worth the effort." Chris told him , his gaze wandering to one of the cafe's cuter waiters until Viktor's disapproving noise brought his attention back. "I can look."

"Love hasn't completely changed you." Viktor said 

Chris sulked in silence while Viktor considered the card once again, uncertain. He wanted to explore all options, leaving nothing unexplored in his quest but this gave him mixed emotions. Viktor hoped he wouldn't be faced with something that would forever prevent him from being with the one who shared his mark. 

He had to believe everything would work out in the end, that they would overcome anything standing between them. No matter what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter Viktor will find Yuuri's profile in all its cheesy fun, expect complications for their meeting though.
> 
> I am going to make mistakes regarding the illness, treatment and such - research only goes so far and my knowledge comes from being close to someone who had both it and other issues so I'm sorry for any mistakes made. Some things will be a little mixed and all my knowledge of treatment beyond the final stages comes solely from research. There won't be a bad ending to this story,, but we have to get there first.  
> I hope I'm doing okay so far.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for the reads, kudos and comments- I haven't abandoned my other projects, want to get this one going while its fresh in my mind.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor discovers his soulmate is someone familiar and makes his way to Japan.

Making himself comfortable lying on his couch with his dog dozing away, Viktor followed the link Chris had given him. 

The website itself proved to be quite simple and oddly cheerful despite all it must have been witness to. Viktor spent his time while waiting for final approval and the search results looking through some of the listed stories, some were heartbreaking and others hopeful. Reading them,though, he fully understood their desire for anonymity. They helped people here, providing closure at least or some connection even if the two could never meet in person. If his soul mate was here Viktor prayed he would not be one of those that found their match too late.

A few stories caught his attention over the others, mainly the ones whose ending was happy. The story one woman told struck him the most.

\---------- 

 

I had to share our story in the hope that you will not give up hope. I know not every story here ended like ours, that so many seem to end only in sadness but if a miracle can happen for me then maybe it can for you as well. Call me Erika(not my real name of course,but I like it). For reasons even all the doctors I saw could never explain since I'm still in my 20's and had always been healthy, my kidneys failed. I spent so many months on dialysis, waiting and hoping that a donor would be found. They don't tell you that the list is so long and that there are so many conditions that affect your placement on it. I thought I might end up never finding a donor, that I'd spend whatever remained of my life depending on machines to keep me going. 

The nurses are more than kind at the dialysis center but I don't know how they do it, knowing that most of the people they get to know will not make it. I didn't want that to be my fate, to die without ever finding the one who shared my soul mark. I knew the risks but even if that person turned out to be just a friend I'd be happy that we found each other. I just wanted my soul mate to know I exist and to make some kind of connection. They gave me a link to this site and that's how I found her.

Lisette I'll call her, she came from another country and she was so happy to have found me. She came to me right away, only a week after discovering i existed, hugging me and assuring me she would do anything she could to help me. We laughed and cried and talked for hours. 

When the tests came through and she was compatible with me, Lisette offered one of her kidneys without a second thought. I felt horrible about putting her through all the risks but she insisted. I call her my heroine. Now almost a year later and we are so happy together. Its not perfect but that's fine, we're glad to be able to share our lives now . Don't give up, every story doesn't end like ours but I hope you find your own happiness. 

\---------------

His heart thawed, the walls he'd built to protect himself gone and with a renewed purpose Viktor hoped for a future with his own soul mate. He'd wanted for very little in his life, at this moment he had the world at his feet. It troubled him deeply to think that he might be denied the one thing he truly needed, something he'd never bothered to think about until now. 

The chiming music announcing the results of his search startled him out of his reverie. There was a match. The revelation both excited and frightened him, knowing his match was here and what that implied. He smiled at the images of two perfectly matching white snowflake marks, one on lightly tanned skin. The profile and its accompanying attachment brought his whole world to a complete halt. 

His mind told him it was impossible, that he would have known. 

But it was true, and he had made a horrible mistake.

 

\------------- Katsudone4U-----------

If you've clicked on this then you are the lucky owner of a snowflake mark just like mine! 

My mother makes the tastiest katsudon in the world, but after being in so much demand there is a severely limited amount available. Namely one and it is sadly only here for a short time. If you made it this far, if you want to know more and maybe take this limited time offer click the link attached to see the video! 

 

 

\------------

Curiosity drove him to click the video link but doing so filled him with more thoughts and emotions than he was prepared to handle. The video proudly announcing underneath its identity. 

He knew this man,....but until now he never knew his name. 

\---

Katsuki Yuuri, top Japanese figure skater, skates Viktor Nikiforov's World Championship free skate routine. 

Viktor knew the routine he'd used last season, knew it and the music by heart, but not like this. Now he understood what Yakov meant when he lectured about him lacking any true feeling and emotion in his skating. The video certainly wasn't top quality but the skaters talent shone through. Clad in training wear in a place Viktor did not recognize, a place without crowds or proper lighting this skater performed his routine as if it were his own and not Viktor's. He found it impossible to look away as he watched this man skate a better version of his routine. To Viktor it seemed Yuuri created the music he skated to, as if he became the lonely man reaching out in the darkness for someone who might be reaching back. Hoping against everything to be heard and seen. 

I'm here, he was saying, pleading, find me. They didn't need to be alone anymore.

The language spoken on the ice. Viktor understood it well. 

Viktor found it heartbreaking . Such a perfect performance, an echo of his own, by one who might never skate again. He should be competing against Yuuri on the same ice. 

In truth he should be with Yuuri right now. 

In Viktor's mind it was a call for him alone, to remember what he'd forgotten and fear what might be lost forever. 

His soul cried out to Yuuri. To the one he'd had in his arms once and let go in pure ignorance. 

There had to be time for him to make amends .

 

__________

Deciding that contacting Yuuri would only prove awkward and waste valuable time, Viktor set about planning his trip to Japan the moment the site sent him the proper information. Booking a flight was not so simple a matter, as it was explained to him this was cherry blossom season and an abundance of tourists were coming in. The flight was last minute and quite expensive but nothing he could not handle. 

He sent only a short message ahead while in flight, explaining that he was Yuuri's soul mate and he would be arriving there as soon as possible. Talking could be done when he got there. He informed his coach Yakov of his plans while in flight as well, that conversation did not go well. But he would not be swayed. Yuuri needed him, he'd failed once, and he would not this time.

It was late afternoon when the plane landed and he found the car he was assured would be waiting for him. Both he and Makkachin enjoyed the ride and the sights along their way. 

The Katsuki family, he discovered from research, owned an onsen. Something like a spa with hot springs it was said could help heal mind and body, at the very least they were relaxing. He arrived unannounced with his dog Makkachin and his luggage to be greeted by a tired looking woman with short brown/blonde hair who eyed him somewhat suspiciously.

"So, it is you. " she said before turning from the front desk and shouting something in Japanese toward the back. 

Before he could say anything a smiling woman burst out of the door to the area and wrapped him in an inescapable, warm hug. He looked to the younger woman he decided must be her daughter for help but she only shook her head and starting taking his luggage away. 

"My son will be so happy to see you." the woman hugging him said before releasing him, eyes like Yuuri's beaming up at him. "You didn't give us time to explain, but we're glad you're here."

A man appeared then, wearing a coat and holding one in his arms. He spoke in Japanese to the woman who is Yuuri's mother before frowning at him. 

"I know, I know... but this is Viktor- the one who sent that message." she said before saying more in Japanese. 

"Is Yuuri here?" Viktor asked, more than a bit concerned now. Perhaps he was sick in bed. "I want to see him right away."

Yuuri's mother gave a concerned glance at her husband who nodded in agreement.

"You can see him soon, but not right now. " she explained "They took him to the hospital not long before you arrived and we were leaving now. "

Now he was worried, if he'd come too late he would never forgive himself. 

"Hospital? What happened, is Yuuri.."

"He got sick this morning." the younger woman told him as she returned. "Before your message came. "

"Is he- will he be all right? " Viktor had to ask. 

His mother faced him with kindness in her eyes, " It's okay, everything will be fine. You will come with us? " she asked. "He will want to see you."

He would have demanded to go if she hadn't offered. Leaving his dog there in the care of Yuuri's sister, Mari she told him, he went along with his parents. Despite their reassurances he couldn't prevent the knot in his gut and the growing anxiety within him. 

He promised he would be there for Yuuri this time and he'd failed yet again. 

He found himself touching the snowflake through his clothing hoping for another connection, some way to tell Yuuri he was on his way. That everything would be fine. He'd do anything to make everything okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--Sorry for the bit of a cliffhanger ending, next chapter is finished and will be posted in a few days while I work on the chapter after that. next chapter is longer than the others since I keep adding things, but they have a lot to talk about even before they get to Yuuri's sickness.  
> Yuuri and Viktor will meet in the next chapter and this au's version of the Grand Prix banquet scene is revealed. 
> 
> Thank you for the reads and Kudos and comments, for fans of the story that inspired this one I hope you don't mind the changes.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri meet, though Yuuri doesn't remember they met before. What happened at the GPF banquet and Viktor's regret.

It seemed forever since they arrived, since he was left alone here. Time passed with excruciating slowness. Only once did she reappear in the waiting room outside of the Critical Care unit, Yuuri's mother, welcoming him with a smile and a warm hug. She assured him Yuuri was doing better, that it had just been an infection, they'd caught it before things got out of hand. Her son, she told him, could be very stubborn. He didn't want to trouble his family. 

This wasn't the first time they'd been here and Yuuri always pulled through, he was strong she told him. Everything would be fine. 

He didn't know how she managed it, keeping that smile and optimistic demeanor despite what she must be going through inside. It was all he could do to prevent himself from banging on the door and demanding they let him inside. They told him to wait, and that had been hours ago. During his time in the waiting room people, nurses and doctors as well came and went without giving him a glance. A large monitor screen set up on one wall displayed news in Japanese and sometimes English but he ignored it. Sometimes nurses or orderlies would show up and ask him if he needed anything, or tell him he could leave for awhile. But Viktor couldn't bear leaving for any reason than was necessary. 

He found it difficult to shake the absurd thoughts tormenting him that this was somehow his fault. That if he'd been less self centered and oblivious back then his soul mate wouldn't have been forced to face this alone for so long.

This wasn't how he'd expected finding the one who shared his mark would go not at all but he was here. The absolute worst came when he heard alarms and announcements, fearing things he didn't want to imagine. He'd found Yuuri, everything would be fine, he wasn't too late. He kept telling himself those things hoping to convince himself.

Morning came when Yuuri's mother finally appeared and told him he could go to the room, that Yuuri should be waking again soon. They would talk later, once his doctor had everything ready to present to them. 

He was lying in the bed curled under a thin hospital blanket, a sleeping beauty connected to machines in a room surrounded by doctors, nurses and other patients listening to the endless sounds from the machine monitoring his pulse and blood pressure. Another machine kept the constant dripping from an i.v. line attached to a needle in the arm. 

This wasn't how he wanted their meeting to go. 

Unsure how long they would allow him to be alone with Yuuri, Viktor approached the bed unable to take his gaze off the peacefully sleeping man. This was the same man he'd seen skate a more emotionally moving rendition of his own free skate routine, the same man he met that one night that changed his life. Viktor couldn't help but feel guilty now, realizing what he should have sensed before and didn't. 

"Will you forgive me for being so late?" he murmured those words as he idly stroked the sleeping man's head feeling the soft brown hair.,pulling back only when he noticed him waking.

Viktor watched as the amber eyes blinked open slowly, trying to focus without the glasses he noticed lying on the nearby table and saying something in Japanese, frowning. 

"Here, you might need these?"

Yuuri knew that voice, but couldn't understand why here. At first he thought he might still be dreaming but even without his glasses he knew that voice, that platinum hair and those ice blue eyes. The absolute impossibility that this was real struck him without words, sitting up far too quickly and fighting the wave of sickness that came with it. Vaguely he remembered someone, his mother maybe, telling him his soul mate was here and waiting to meet him. Since he'd been half asleep at the time he hadn't listened, the words never sank in. 

Yuuri could only sit there motionless with fear that this was only a delusion as the owner of that voice opened his glasses with long, elegant fingers and carefully placed them where they belonged. He was so close Yuuri could smell the intoxicating aroma of expensive cologne, feel the warmth of his breathe, feel the light touch of those fingers against his skin. Reflexively he pulled back as the world came into focus and the man moved away as well. 

Viktor Nikiforov, tall and perfect, was standing there beside his hospital bed staring at him and actually smiling as he pointed to the spot on Yuuri's shoulder where the snowflake birthmark resided. 

"It seems we share the same mark, you and I, so here I am." Viktor said in that thick, heavily accented tone Yuuri had a particular fondness for. 

But how would he know? 

Yuuri expected the alarms to go off on his heart monitor . He thought it might burst out of his chest at any moment. 

To think that he, a failed figure skater of no real consequence , shared the same snowflake soul mark as the legendary Viktor Nikiforov. He'd traveled all the way here for him. 

So many were going to be so jealous of him, they might even hate him.

Yuuri liked thinking that way.

 

\-----------

 

"I wish I'd had the courage to talk to you sooner, but you always seemed on another level." Yuuri said a bit later after he'd calmed and Viktor explained about seeing he profile. "Like something I couldn't possibly reach."

"This is not the first time we've met." Viktor said, frowning , "Have you forgotten so soon? "

Viktor was sitting on the bed now, happy that Yuuri felt comfortable enough with this closeness , though he desired more. He really wanted to hold the younger man but decided to let Yuuri set the pace. He was here, they were together, for now that was enough.

Yuuri had no idea what Viktor was talking about. "I always wanted to but I never had the courage and we were never at the same competitions very often anyway. I messed up so badly at the Grand Prix last season I would have done anything to avoid you. " he glanced down at their interlocked fingers in wonder "This is beyond anything I ever imagined. "

"You honestly do not remember?" 

Viktor's eyes widened for a moment before looking away, his mind processing what Yuuri told him. His companion's hand tightened its grip on his in response bringing Viktor back out of his colliding thoughts. 

"Is something wrong?" Yuuri asked, sounding a bit frightened. "If I've forgotten something important,tell me. Even if it isn't important I want to know. I don't understand why I don't remember meeting you before this, you were always my idol- the one I admired. We're soul mates too, I should remember. I would have remembered."

Yuuri was almost panicking and Viktor felt responsible. With a sigh he drew Yuuri closer until he calmed once again, his fingers stroking the younger man's .

"Its probably best you don't remember. I just thought after seeing your profile..."

"My friend put that on the site, I had nothing to do with it." Yuuri explained, the knot returning to his gut. What had Phichit done now? 

"The banquet after the last Grand Prix, you remember nothing?"

Yuuri moved away enough to study Viktor's face, the confusion and concern evident in those ice blue eyes. "I didn't want to go but Celestino insisted. Maybe if I'd told him what happened, why I messed up the free skate but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I lost my dog that day, and that was when the results of the blood tests came back. I only remember wishing I was anywhere else and drinking too much." he froze "Wait, did I do something stupid? I must have... I usually do.."

"It's okay, really it wasn't anything bad. " It explained why Yuuri hadn't reacted to them being soul mates back then but not why he hadn't recognized who Yuuri was to him. "You were very drunk, shouting things I did not understand,insisting I dance with you and then demanding a dance contest that if you won you expected a reward from me. I was quite surprised and very flattered. You were very bold."

How could he forget the way Yuuri clung to him as he pleaded for the contest and his coveted prize, coffee colored eyes wide and bright with liquor and courage. Maybe if he had been a little less dressed Viktor might have seen the mark on his shoulder. 

Yuuri cringed inside, "What did I want from you?" he wasn't sure why but he needed to know. 

Viktor was actually blushing, the light pink stark against his pale skin. "A kiss." 

"What? " Bowing his head , inwardly Yuuri cursed what he'd inherited , his father was also quite an interesting man when drunk. He'd heard the stories. "I am so sorry. "

"Why? That night was the best thing that happened to me in far too long, you were so forward and when we danced we were so in sync with each other. If you were not in such a state I might have taken you seriously. I should have guessed the truth of our connection but I was locked away in my own prison. For that I am sorry." he said, smiling to himself as the memories returned to his mind. " I have pictures.." he reached for his phone resting in his coat's pocket. "Most of them were taken by my friend Chris but I will show you..."

Yuuri shook his head. "No, I may never be ready for that. " he said, then as an afterthought he gazed back at him "Did I win?"

"Yes. My rink mate was very angry about his defeat, though he wanted something else as a prize. " Viktor could not remember what, something about his senior debut this coming season but decided it was of no concern. 

"Then did we- did I ..?" he searched Viktor's face for clues, finding none. 

Wouldn't he remember if he'd kissed the man he had practically obsessed over since childhood? You'd think that at least would stick in his mind even after being so wasted. He wanted to remember. 

"I will not tell you." Viktor said in a blunt reply.

"Why not?"

"It will be my secret. I will tell you that in the end you passed out on the floor, leaving everyone to leave speaking of what happened as only rumor. The Japanese officials were very quick in covering matters up." he said "It was very fortunate that you did in any case before Christophe talked you into pole dancing with him. Or perhaps unfortunate, at least for me. "

This was getting stranger all the time. Yuuri had a lot of questions but he wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answers. He did, however fell incredibly happy that Phichit had not made it to the Grand Prix that year or those pictures and videos Yuuri knew must exist would be everywhere. He hadn't realized just how long he remained quiet, staring down at their interlocked hands once more completely lost in his own thoughts. 

It was odd how Viktor could calm him and excite him at the same time. Yuuri felt he could get used to this closeness. 

"Do you want it now?" Viktor asked him in a completely innocent tone

Yuuri felt his own face growing warm now as he met that gaze. "Do I want what?" he thought he knew but he had to be certain.

"Another reward for my brave prince?" Viktor told him "Am I not your loyal knight come to rescue you? I will be whatever you wish me to be,Yuuri,anything at all."

How could he as such a thing in that tone? Like a child asking for a treat he probably didn't deserve. Viktor was absolutely beautiful and Yuuri could barely believe he shared the same soul mark as this man. Viktor was here with him in this hospital room. He wanted the world to be jealous of him even as he wondered why Viktor would want him. If he had enough time he wanted to erase those doubts from his mind, to focus on the reality of the here and now. He wanted to lose himself to everything this man offered. 

They barely knew each other, as far as Yuuri was concerned they had only just met and yet it felt natural, comfortable as if he'd known Viktor all his life. Well, truthfully, he had always known Viktor but only from a distance.

He felt brave, though it might be only because he had nothing much to lose and if this was only another dream he'd rather take the risk then wake up regretting. Right now Yuuri believed anything might be possible, that he may actually find a way to survive. 

At the very least he didn't feel as alone now. 

Yuuri met Viktor's eyes, this wasn't the legend, not the God of figure skating here with him now. This was the man who shared his birthmark, his soul mate, his destiny. 

"I just want you to be Viktor, isn't that enough?" Yuuri told him ,it was more than enough for him. More than he imagined would ever be possible. 

Viktor blinked at Yuuri, completely startled. After years of changing to surprise others, to keep his performances fresh and engaging he wasn't sure if anyone had ever wanted him to just be himself. He wasn't sure he knew exactly who he was anyway. 

Yuuri found himself leaning forward, releasing his hands from Viktor's and reaching for him, seeking warmth and reassurance that this was not a dream. This was real. The man sitting on his bed so close , looking at him as if he truly desired him, it was real. Cautiously he touched Viktor's cheek with his free hand, causing Viktor to cover it with his hand creating a low shudder that resounded through his body. Yuuri wondered if he might set off the alarm since his pulse seemed to be growing increasingly fast as he drew Viktor's face closer.

The door to his room opened abruptly, causing them to break apart immediately.

They were interrupted by the arrival of two nurses, one to take blood, the other to check his temperature, blood pressure and change the i.v. drip. Viktor having to leave his eat on the bed and watch as they went to work. Breakfast would also be arriving soon, though they said he could stay and they would bring him a meal Viktor had to decline the offer. 

He didn't want to leave, especially when Yuuri watched him with that soft, almost pleading gaze. 

"You're leaving?" the younger man asked

Viktor stopped at the door, forcing a smile. "Just for a little while, let them do their job and I'm certain your family wants time with you."

"But you-- we only met a short now..." 

It hurt, Viktor found that amazing to discover, but it actually hurt having to leave so soon. 

"I'm only going to the cafeteria, I'll tell your family to call me when it's okay. " now his smile was real. "I am not going anywhere Yuuri, believe me, not again."

Viktor left the room to Yuuri's confused expression. It did hurt. 

If there was a way to save Yuuri, even if it cost his own life, Viktor was determined it would happen. 

There was no way he would let the life and love Yuuri's existence promised him slip through his fingers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Viktor and Chris' conversation, not nearly as long a chapter but I'm separating it from Yuuri talking to Phichit and his doctor.   
> I am also considering exactly what kind of role Yuri P. will play in all of this. Drama follows him but how much I want to add is still undecided. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading, and hopefully enjoying this story. I'm grateful for all kudos!


	7. Chapter  Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Chris talk...

Viktor sat in the hospital cafeteria facing a window looking out onto the beautiful cherry trees adorned with their bright pink blossoms, too enveloped in his own thoughts to notice. Besides the scenery he was completely unaware how much attention his presence created just by sitting there alone forcing himself to sip at his coffee and eat something. All around him there were hushed conversations, not all concerning him, but no one dared approach him, even those that recognized exactly who this stunning foreign man was. Even in his current sleep deprived, disheveled form his natural attractiveness shone through.

In a different time and place he would have enjoyed the attention, gloried in it. But he had other matters in his mind in this moment. 

At this current moment he was going back through all the pictures and videos stored on his phone regarding that certain Gpf banquet, inwardly cursing himself for his own self centered nature. 

If he had known the truth then, he would have at least been there for Yuuri. 

The chime of his phone broke through his thoughts, proclaiming a call he discovered from Chris, someone he'd been waiting to hear from. 

"It's good to hear from you Chris, isn't it early where you are?" Viktor said in French, a language they both knew and often used for more private conversations in certain situations. 

"It is fine, I find it difficult to sleep without at least one of my bae's. You know how traveling can be." Chris said "When I saw your message of course I would want to hear the details? You found the one didn't you?"

"Yes, but it is not so easy."

"Nothing worth the effort ever is, my friend, and for love to last it requires effort." Chris said 

Viktor sighed, "Do you remember the last GPF banquet?"

"How could I forget? That Japanese boy surprised everyone. Who knew beneath that quiet exterior beat the heart of a playboy? " Chris mused "I had hoped more would come of that magical night for you and him. It had been far too long since I had seen you so happy. I thought he might have been your soul mate, the two of you seemed to click."

"He was and is..." Viktor told him.

Silence for a long moment before Chris replied. 

"You're not joking? Then I was right. " Chris said happily "Now that is good news, why does it seem to trouble you?"

"I was completely oblivious to the truth, Chris. " Viktor said " He needed me and I left him to face this illness alone for months. He should hate me. I hate me."

"Did he say something about it?" Chris wondered "He hasn't rejected you, has he?"

"He doesn't remember any of it. " Viktor replied sadly 

Not the drinking, not boldly walking right up to him and demanding Viktor dance with him or taking the lead in all their dances with complete confidence and skill. Yuuri had no memory of praising Viktor, saying how much he admired and adored the older man all his life and declaring to everyone present that if he won a dance contest Viktor would give him what he asked for. 

All he asked for was a kiss. 

The very thing Viktor most needed in his life, what he'd set aside for over twenty years and he'd cast it away because he thought he could only find strength alone. In order to retain his position as the best he had decided to put everything into skating. 

"Now that is a shame. " Chris said "Viktor, you are my closest friend and no one else would tell you this but it is time you left that private world you live in. True that you should have taken the opportunity when it was first presented to you but now you are given a second chance. Something that not all are gifted with. You told him about the banquet though, and was he angry?"

"No. "

"And you are there for him now, are you not? I believe the two of you will conquer anything attempting to stand between you. It's not like you are one to back down from a challenge. " Chris assured him "Just as I believe you will return to competition so that I can finally beat you before we are both too old and worn. You might be my friend first but I also value the challenge you pose. I am not the only one thinking you've been selfish with your gold." 

That made Viktor chuckle a little "I make no promises, right now I am needed here."

"How many more chances will I have, we can not compete forever. " Chris told him "Perhaps you can bring your new love to compete with you as well?"

Viktor had to admit he'd like that, to share the ice with Yuuri in competitions. The younger man had talent, there was no denying that, and should have been competing at the World's not fighting for his life here. If it was possible, Viktor wanted to make that happen. 

"Tell me how it feels, if it is as they say it is when you meet your soul mate?" Chris asked "I am curious to know if the stories I've heard are true. "

Viktor smiled despite himself, remembering how it felt to be near Yuuri again. He had never felt so safe, so comfortable and happy. Seeing Yuuri so soft and vulnerable lying in that hospital bed made him want to scoop the younger man up in his arms and tell him everything would be all right now. This was one promise Viktor determined he would keep and never forget. His soul mate was hurting, Viktor felt it and the irritation from not being able to ease his pain. 

It still hurt and that alone amazed Viktor. To think someone else could affect him so very much simply by existing, a man he was only just getting to know, stunned him. 

He could honestly say he loved Yuuri. 

He'd been a fool to walk away before and he vowed to make amends with Yuuri. 

He would give Yuuri anything in the world, even the parts of himself he hid away from everyone else. 

"I feel as if I've known him forever, Chris, as if he is everything I've been missing. Everything I didn't even realize I was missing." Viktor said "I don't know how I could have missed it before."

Yakov did accuse him often of only thinking about himself, more so lately in his constant angry messages telling him if he left he could never return. 

"I am so jealous you know. It seems you hear stories like yours less and less these days," Chris replied "More and more like me are born without a mark. My grandparents were the last in my family and I find that sad, so I will think on your happiness Viktor."

"Wasn't only a few days ago that you were gushing over your newfound love?" Viktor reminded him. 

"But we have to wait and work toward what the two of have been given. Such a deep connection is rare now so of course I'm jealous. " Chris said " One can connect on a sexual or mental level easily. To bond on a spiritual level, as true soul mates, is a gift."

"I already know which connection is most important to you." Viktor said , frowning as his phone chimed for a message, "I have to get back, Yuuri's doctor should be arriving soon and I cannot miss it."

"I have my preferences. " Chris laughed "Wait and you will understand. Go to your love and if there is anything you need do not hesitate to ask. I don't wish for you to lose what you have only just found."

"Thank you, Chris. " Viktor said, determined " I promise you I will not let him go this time."

"It is also my duty as your friend to inform you that your presence in Japan has been noticed and you are the talk of many sns sites at this moment. Perhaps if you refrained from posting, but that is not our style is it Viktor? We are lovers of the ice and the audience." Chris told him 

"True but my Yuuri may not appreciate the attention right now." 

" Your Yuuri? " Chris sounded very amused "This is very promising, already so possessive. I am looking forward to hearing more about you and your newfound lover. Do not spare me details." 

Viktor laughed at that. "I will talk to you later, Chris. " 

'His' Yuuri? 

Viktor ended the call ,shaking his head. Life seemed full of surprises since discovering his soul mate and Viktor hoped there would be many more in the years to come. He wanted time for both of them, so they could learn and explore their new lives together. 

It would be unforgivably unfair to have it end now and Viktor vowed that it would not be their fate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter : Viktor and Yuuri have a serious and emotional talk , Viktor comes to a decision and an unexpected problem arrives.  
> Keep in mind all explanations will be simplified , I'm not a doctor and will probably mess up some things,research and my experience with someone who had this condition only goes so far. I will do my best. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for all the continued support, reads,kudos and comments. I decided on which direction to take this story and I hope everyone enjoys it. Expect a bit of role switching for Victuuri. That's all I'm going to say for now.


	8. Chapter  Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri have a serious discussion, everything becomes a bit emotional and a problem(?) is on its way. 
> 
>  
> 
> \--as I said, a lot of things I simplified, and mistakes might be made. Yuuri is doing the explaining anyway. -- Hope everyone continues to enjoy what is becoming a longer story than I first intended but there is much to look forward to.

Peering into the room through the glass window on the door Viktor watched his brown haired soul mate as his attention was held captive by whatever was on his phone. His mother had met Viktor once he arrived in the waiting room with her unending warmth telling him Yuuri was waiting. 

Viktor thought he could spend hours just watching Yuuri but he needed to know the truth, no matter how difficult it might be. With a deep breathe he opened the door, the sound alerting the younger man. 

"You're back." Yuuri said looking up from his phone seeing Viktor just outside the doorway.

The smile Yuuri gifted Viktor with the second he saw him in the doorway caused all of his doubts to burn into ash. The younger man gazed at him as if he were the most important person in his life and Viktor wanted to be the only one who ever saw that smile. 

"Did you think I would leave?" Viktor returned that smile. 

"I didn't mean..." Yuuri stammered 

"I'm only teasing, " Viktor assured him as he paused at the door long enough to use the required hand sanitizer on his hands before entering the room. "Your mother told me I could come in now. "

"Sorry they wouldn't let you in while my doctor was here, hospital rules, but we did ask." Yuuri told him "They said family only."

"It's okay, I'm not family.." Viktor understood

"Well, not yet.." Yuuri said, bowing his head in a terrible attempt at concealing the sudden flush painting his face in pink for a minute. "My Mom is already calling you her second son. "

"I know," Viktor found her charming and could see the similarities between both Yuuri and his mother. "She told me how sorry she was that your doctor doesn't see it that way." 

Yuuri set his phone on the table extending over his lap before pushing the wheeled thing to the side, making room for Viktor on the bed.

Viktor found it adorable. 

He thought Yuuri himself was adorable. 

Everything about Yuuri fascinated him, each item discovered only luring him into wanting more. 

Even when the younger man avoided full eye contact, and those bright amber eyes filled with a thousand conflicting emotions. The only thing Viktor could do was sit on the bed, cover Yuuri's hand with his own and silently tell him he understood. An unspoken agreement between them. It was hard to believe they were truly only just getting to know each other. 

"We have to talk. " Yuuri said with his head still bowed. "I'm so glad you found me and that you are here, but I wish things were different. You don't think about this stuff, about time and family and what you haven't done, until its gone. I didn't think I'd ever be this lucky to find my soul mate and that it would be you.... and I mess everything up by being weak."

"Yuuri?" Viktor spoke carefully, uncertain how to proceed.

"I should have told you before, when you first got here but I wanted to wait until I knew for certain." Yuuri's voice was breaking now "I hoped there would be better news. Stupid of me,I know."

Viktor reached out to carefully raise Yuuri's face only to see its beauty marked by despair and tears. He wanted it gone, everything causing him pain , but he had little idea what to do. Faced with someone in such an emotional state always made him feel horribly awkward. One wrong word or reaction and everything could shatter, that was how he felt. This closeness was too new, too fresh, and he needed time to find his footing. 

They needed time. 

"I am not going to leave you, you know that?"

"Of course I know that!" Yuuri spoke more harshly than he intended, it was more difficult than he expected but he forced himself to calm. "Sorry, I get so tired of all of this sometimes. I wanted to talk to you alone, they assured me no one would bother us for awhile."

Viktor drew in a deep breathe, tightening his hold on Yuuri's hand, reassuring. 

"So, tell me what we're up against, Yuuri." Viktor kept his voice low , calming. He wanted Yuuri to know they were in this together now.

He wasn't going to give up and he didn't want Yuuri to either. 

A light shudder passed through the younger man's body but he recovered quickly, sitting up and meeting Viktor's gaze. 

"It came out of nowhere, really, but they say it does that a lot. No symptoms until its usually too late. " Yuuri explained "I was in Detroit training and my usual doctor visit was a couple days before the GPF . I didn't find out until before my free skate. They couldn't get in touch with me so they called my parents and they called me. It was the only a day after they told me my dog passed away. Vicchan was getting old but I didn't expect-"

Yuuri stopped, drew in a ragged breath, remembering that day and his complete failure in performing his free skate. He doubted Viktor recalled their brief meeting after the event as he was heading back to the hotel, when the platinum haired man asked if he wanted to take a picture with him. Yuuri had felt so angry and humiliated he couldn't bear the gaze of his idol. 

"Vicchan?" Viktor found that name oddly familiar, an echo of his own and couldn't help the smile that appeared briefly. 

So many surprises. Yuuri had no possible idea just how Viktor already felt about him, how very overwhelming the emotions flooding his once frozen heart were. 

"I told you how much I always admired you. You're the reason I got into figure skating." Yuuri explained, calming again. "I used to take dance classes and I liked to try to copy your routines. Minako,my dance instructor, suggested I focus more on my skating and try competing. I always wanted to skate on the same ice as you, to face you as an equal. "

"I'd like that." Viktor said 

Yuuri didn't really have as much faith in that dream but he wouldn't confess his deepest fears to Viktor. He couldn't. It was difficult enough explaining his illness and the fate he might be facing when there was so much hope in those glittering light ocean blue eyes. The thought of having brought his soul mate here only to make him end up suffering alone hurt too much. Yuuri was determined to fight but what would become of Viktor if he failed?

"Something went wrong in my blood, it's starting to kill off cells so they kept track of my numbers." Yuuri continued explaining " When levels got too low they'd give me a transfusion and they told me I probably only had three months until it got worse and transfusions wouldn't last. I made it until almost five. It was pre cancer , but now it's becoming full leukemia and something has to be done or I'll die. " he sighed before admitting " I might anyway."

"What can we do then?" Viktor asked "There has to be something."

Yuuri nodded slowly, hesitating before replying. 

"There is, there are experimental drugs and treatments but my doctor says we should avoid those unless nothing else works. What he wants to do is risky but I have the best chance of survival and full recovery if I decide on that option. " Yuuri said , still stumbling over his words as if he were afraid Viktor might run if he continued. "They've tested my family since that was the best chance of finding the right match but ... it didn't work out right. The donor doesn't have to match but it helps . I thought that maybe since we are soul mates there might be some sort of bond, I've read that happens sometimes."

"What do you need from me,Yuuri? If there is anything I can do to save you I will do it."

Yuuri shook his head briefly. "It's not that. I just don't want you to be too hopeful, it might not work. It won't be easy on me." he said "They take someone's blood, filter out what they need and after destroying my blood , they'll replace it. My doctor says that it might be a good thing that we seem to share a close bond, it could make it easier on me . That maybe I might heal faster. If it works we'll be more than soul mates, your blood will be in me."

Yuuri was doing his best to sound hopeful, but his words concerned Viktor deeply. Nothing in the process sounded anything beyond risky for the younger man. He forced the rising fear within his body down, concealing as best he could as his mind went through the possibilities. The fact that Yuuri had been healthy and strong stood in his favor. Now he had to be strong as well, for Yuuri now, not simply for himself as he had in the past. 

"I will do whatever I can to help you, no matter what." Viktor told him "What must I do now? What will happen to you?"

Yuuri steadied himself. "Like I said something went wrong with my blood so they need to exchange it for something that hopefully will work. I have to take chemo therapy that's supposed to kill the cells in my blood over a couple weeks before the new cells are put inside me. After that it could get tough -it'll be months before we can be sure the new cells will work. There's a lot of risks but I don't have choices. My body might even reject them, they'll give me pills to help prevent that. But even then there's always the chance. I also have to be careful not to get very sick or any infection, or a lot of other things. "

"Whatever you need,...I have every intention of staying right by your side through all of this." Viktor assured him 

Yuuri flushed deep red again but this time he didn't look away. 

"Thank you." was all he found himself able to say. 

Viktor leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Yuuri's forehead, smiling as he moved away reluctantly. 

"You are more than worth it, Yuuri, one day you will understand." Viktor told him. "And there will never be a need for you to thank me. "

He meant every word of it. 

 

\-----------------------------

 

 

Somewhere in the city of St Petersburg, Russia a young man was lounging on his bed listening to music and thumbing through posts on his phone, his cat resting on his stomach. A typical day off from practice as night slowly enveloped the city outside. Green eyes hardened as they focused on a certain post, one that spoke of the legendary Russian skater Viktor Nikiforov. The man who'd won more gold medals than any other and had been poised for another triumphant season until his recent disappearance. Their coach Yakov had been suspiciously quiet on the issue. 

The article insisted he'd been found in Japan, supposedly intent on staying to help a dying man. They called it selfless and noble. 

Yuri Plisetsky had another opinion on the matter. 

His feelings made entirely clear as the phone sailed across the room to settle on the floor. That and a string of swears in Russian that seemed out of place for the blonde haired green eyed angel his fans were certain he was. The cat seemed quite used to this display of anger and only blinked up with mild interest before resuming its nap in a new location on the bed. 

At fifteen he was preparing for his senior figure skating debut after winning gold in last season's junior world's and his plans would not be delayed by anything. Muttering more curses he left the bed to retrieve his phone. 

He'd put far too much effort into this to have Viktor run off on some whim to Japan completely ignoring the promises he made. The idiot was always forgetting promises and Yuri had enough of that. 

This time Viktor would be forced to honor their agreement, even if he had to drag the idiot back himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri prepares to go home as he faces treatments and the transplant. Yuri P. arrives to give some of his usual blunt honesty and has Yuuri thinking, leading to arguments and changed plans.   
> \-----
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and reads, I'm looking forward to continue taking a lot of things that happened in the show and mixing it up.


	9. Chapter  Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I am so late, a lot of stuff got in the way but I finally got this chapter done. The start of a little drama, which is understandable given the situation.   
> I hope everyone likes it.

It made perfect sense. He needed to find Viktor as soon as possible and get him back to Russia so he would be forced to honor his promise. Of course he would be shouting Viktor's name at the top of his lungs, ignoring all the stares, the people trying to get him to stop as politely as they could and the fact that very few if any understood Russian and he was in an unfamiliar town. His own personal determination brought him this far and he would not be stopped.

Yuri Plisetsky was 15, angry and not one to let anything or anyone get in the way of what he wanted. Rules were a pesky interference and nothing more. 

He'd deal with Yakov later, after his coach discovered another of his prize students disappeared without warning. 

When Yuri saw the news reports along with Viktor's posted social network images his first thought had been that Viktor was only doing this for publicity, yet another way to surprise his audience. The idiot was too damned forgetful about anything other than his own interests, making all of his current actions more than a little suspicious. But then came the stories about the Japanese skater, his illness and the fact that Viktor proclaimed he'd found his soulmate and would stay in Japan at least until his newfound love was free of that illness. That the legend had put his career on hold maybe permanently. 

It was disgusting in more ways than he could ever express. 

Without a second thought Yuri booked a seat on the next flight to Japan.

Viktor had an obligation to his country and more importantly, to its next rising star in figure skating. 

It wasn't too difficult to find the place those news reports insisted the cause of all this lived, and he would have arrived sooner if not for a short stop at a store he'd passed. Being the Ice Tiger of Russia, at least in his mind, how could he pass up a shirt that perfectly expressed his mood. Perhaps the picture he took on impulse wearing said shirt wasn't well thought out but at the moment he did not care. 

Ignoring the scenery, the other people scattered around the outside of this place his phone called an onsen his eyes focused on one man. A pathetic man with a very familiar dog. 

"You!" Yuri shouted, now focused on his target. 

Yuri knew this man, remembered being forced into that dance contest only to lose and demand Viktor choreograph a gold winning program for his senior debut anyway. He deserved it anyway, worked his life for it. This man irritated Yuri, this skater who showed so much promise only to fail in the end. 

Katsuki Yuuri had only just returned from walking with Makkachin, being completely unprepared for this angry, demanding teenager waiting for him. He'd only returned home after his hospital stay. He was supposed to be resting. 

"You are the cause of all these problems." Yuri said, his tone assuring the listener he would take no argument against his assertion. "It's you that should retire, there is no room for two Yuri's and certainly not for one such as you."

"You're Yuri Plisetsky.... why are you here?" Yuuri felt more than a bit startled

"I do not know what agreement is between the two of you but I am here to set things right." Yuri told him , surprised that the other man didn't seem affected. "I will not allow you to take Viktor's true purpose. It is for me to take him from his pedestal not for the likes of you, a pig who does not deserve gold."

Yuuri lowered the surgical mask concealing his mouth and nose, frowning at the other Yuri. Makkachin seemed perfectly contented in chasing after falling cherry blossoms, ignoring them completely. 

"Viktor came here to help me, he's my soulmate." Yuuri said, facing the younger man. 

"How lucky for you, " Yuri returned " But that is irrelevant to my purpose ,I'm here to prevent him from retiring until he has given me what was promised."

"He didn't say anything about retiring." Yuuri really hadn't thought about that, it struck him to believe he might have been selfish. 

"Why would he say anything, he is here is he not? I get it, you're sick, take care of that and let him return to Russia and his promise to me. If he remains here he will lose inspiration and the Viktor of legend will die before I can unseat him. " Yuri said " That I can not allow, do you understand? "

"That isn't for you to decide." Yuuri countered, he had no intentions of letting Viktor go. Not for anyone.

But what did Viktor want? His mind began creating doubts and fears as he considered the younger man's words despite his efforts to prevent the invasion. 

"Where is Viktor?" Yuri demanded "I will talk to him myself."

"He's inside sleeping. "

Yuri muttered something in Russian before storming off toward the door. 

"Then I will wake him. Think on what I told you, " the cold jade eyes met his as he passed in a piercing gaze. 

There wasn't time to warn Viktor or tell his former rink mate how little sleep Viktor had over the past few days. Nothing would stand between Yuri Plisetsky and what he wanted. He'd spent all his life working toward his goals, it was his skating career that supported his family. 

Yuuri wasn't aware that he'd perhaps made a mistake in not completely understanding the situation. But he had succeeded in planting the seeds of doubt in Yuuri Katsuki's mind, something he had neglected to consider. Following in the wake of the fiery green eyed Russian young man, taking Makkachin with him, Yuuri felt a new purpose take root inside him. 

 

Yuuri didn't mean to listen in, but at first he'd been concerned. 

Despite what his parents and Viktor asked of him, Yuuri waited until he was asleep to take Makkachin out on a walk. After being stuck in the hospital he needed the time outside to think. There had been a time he'd run along this route and he wondered if he'd be able to again one day soon. Putting away his coat, setting Makkachin free of his leash the sounds of the argument were barely muffled. 

Mari scowled in disapproval at him but he only shrugged, following the sounds to linger outside the room they'd given Viktor. The largest room they had, an old, unused banquet room, moving the furniture that arrived into it. His family discovered Viktor had quite a few things shipped here, all of it arriving within hours of his own appearance. The man took over the place with his own oblivious charm. 

Yuuri lingered outside the sliding door to the room, feeling more than a little guilty but unable to move away. The argument had faded in intensity, at least, upon his arrival. 

He shouldn't be here, this certainly wouldn't do him any good, but his own anxieties spurred him on. 

Viktor would never just show up, save the day and then disappear again. Yuuri knew that deep inside, but the doubts continued. 

 

"Alright, you win, I have been working on two possible programs for the coming season and you may have one of them." Viktor said "I will decide which but the responsibility for making it worthy of gold is on you. I can only give you the program, you must make it your own."

"Fine, whatever, just so long as you keep your promise." Yuri said "I will stay here until I am satisfied, then we must return."

"I can't promise you that. " Viktor said "I told you why."

"Then stay here and let the great Viktor Nikiforov die, It's not my concern. " Yuri countered "I want to start on that program as soon as possible so decide quickly. I'm not giving you time to forget your promise nows that I'm here."

"What is important to you isn't my concern right now, "Viktor said

"Because of that pig.." Yuri smirked at him 

"You know what Yuuri means to me, what he is to me now and I refuse to abandon him." Viktor returned "One day you will understand."

Unconsciously Yuri's hand went to the mark he'd had since birth, to the spot on his left hip were it rested. The mark he considered more of a hindrance than a benefit to him. 

"That day is too far to think about. Right now performing on the ice is everything, becoming better than anyone is my only goal. It used to be yours." Yuri told him. 

Yuri slid open the door harshly, glaring once again at their eavesdropper as he passed by. 

Once he passed Yuuri's presence was fully revealed to a concerned looking Viktor sitting up in the center of the large bed. His loose Japanese style pajama top that he was reluctantly wearing open enough to reveal his long,slender neck and bare chest causing Yuuri to audibly catch his breath. 

Something that did not escape Viktor's notice.

His smile greeted Yuuri warmly. 

"Ah, Yuuri, thank you for walking Makkachin but you should be resting, shouldn't you?" Viktor asked him, then adding as if in afterthought, "Do you want to share some time in bed with me? We can relax together."

Yuuri didn't think it was possible to be more embarrassed, he flushed and stepped back without thinking. 

"Bed........with you.......?" he shook his head, completely unprepared for the images flooding his mind. "Now?"

"No? " Viktor actually appeared disappointed "Perhaps later then. Once your treatments begin we will not be able to get to know each other so intimately for some time, but I will let you set the pace. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Yuuri drew in a deep breathe, letting it out slowly. 

Viktor regarded him with that gaze that seemed to melt his insides, making it harder for Yuuri to keep his distance as he stayed by the door. 

"I heard the argument..." Yuuri said. 

Viktor frowned, considering in silence for a long moment seeing how affected his soulmate was. The last thing he wanted was for Yuuri to feel uncomfortable. When he spoke his words were more careful and deliberate. 

"Do not let him trouble you, Yuuri, you are the most important thing right now. I will show him the routine, let him get used to it and he will return to Yakov in St Petersburg. " Viktor assured him " None of this will prevent me from being at your side. "

"Okay," Yuuri felt his doubts rising again but he said nothing of them. "If you've rested enough Mom says dinner will be ready soon. "

"I've been looking forward to this delicious pork cutlet bowl I've heard of, " Viktor smiled, eyes bright with mischief . "If it is as I'm being led to believe you will absolutely never be rid of me."

 

 

Dinner was spent mostly in silence for Yuuri, still held deep in his own thoughts. His sister Mari seeing their newest guest , gushing over how he resembled an idol in her favorite group and deciding to rename him Yurio much to the blonde's annoyance. Viktor laughed and teased, declaring that it was easier anyway considering he was the second Yuri. It was good seeing how easily Viktor seemed to fit in and how much his parents already acted as if he were a family member. After discussions about Yuuri's appointment in four days to begin treatments the conversation turned to skating. Watching Viktor's expressions as he talked with Yurio, Yuri became even more certain he might have missed something important. That maybe he needed to rethink his own plans. 

Those thoughts followed him later, when Viktor left to take a shower and get more rest, suggesting Yuuri do the same. Lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, rest was the last thing Yuuri wanted. The more he considered Yurio's words to him and to Viktor, the more they resonated in his mind. 

It was these concerns that drove Yuuri out of bed and to Viktor's room. There was light peaking out from the panel confirming when he approached, sliding it open a crack.

"Viktor?" his tone was hesitant, slowly opening the screen more to peer inside. 

Having most likely just gotten out of his shower Viktor stood there wearing nothing more than a fluffy white robe that must have been his, hair and ivory skin dotted with beads of water. 

The smile he presented Yuuri with could have melted the sun.

"Yuuri! I was hoping you'd reconsider and sleep with me. We don't have to do anything but talk, whatever you want.." his joyful expression fell once he saw Yuuri's serious one. 

"I'm sorry,.....I didn't come here planning on that- not that I don't want to- but..." Yuuri found this far more difficult than expected. 

"What is it Yuuri? " 

Now Viktor looked worried and Yuuri was beginning to falter in his resolve. 

There was no going back now, however. Not for him. 

"I - we have to talk, Viktor."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is actually already written, I completed it before doing this one, so only a much shorter wait- 4 or 5 days I think so I can start the next one.   
> Next time prepare to be a little annoyed at two people who love each other but will not listen to what the other one is saying. Some of Viktor's hidden stress and fears start coming out as well. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading and hopefully enjoying this story.


	10. Chapter  Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted so much to just stop Yuuri from even talking to Viktor-- we love you Yuuri but it's just too soon for this.   
> A tough chapter where two people talk but neither is listening to the other.   
> I hope you don't mind a lot of angst, and you might get irritated at these two like I did.
> 
> At least we have Phichit.  
> Fluff is coming too..  
> I promise....

Yuuri pulled a chair close to the bed and sat facing Viktor, feeling nervous despite being certain this was the right thing to do. He'd spent most of the day going over what the blonde Russian told him, considering what he meant and his own thoughts about the future. Ever since that day when everything crashed in around him, Yuuri had done a lot of thinking regarding his future. 

Now there was also Viktor's future concerning him. 

"I'm thinking about retiring," Yuuri told him "I won't make a public announcement until I get far enough into recovery to be certain. But it will probably be the best choice for me."

From Viktor's expression Yuuri feared he was not getting his point across at all. But he could be exceedingly stubborn at times, especially when he believed in what he was doing. 

"So, you wish to give up?" Viktor said, regarding the younger man suspiciously. "This is your reply to me giving up my skating to be with you and take care of you during this illness? "

"What about later? What will you do after?" Yuuri asked "It could be months before I have even the possibility of returning to skating and I don't want to be selfish and keep you from it."

"I can't think about that, I'm not ready. All I want is to be here with you and see you through everything." Viktor said " Once this is over I will help you skate again, that is my plan for our future. If I am being selfish then so be it."

"What about your own career? I just can't let you give it up just for me, " Yuuri tried " I haven't decided if I'm going to fully retire yet. My future might be uncertain, I don't know what's going to happen, but you're not in my position. I need to think beyond the treatments and my recovery, I have to. But tying you to my uncertainty isn't fair."

"So you would just let me go so easily? " Viktor bowed his head, defeated "After we only just discovered our bond? You'd tell me to leave you alone to face your fate?"

"That's not what I'm saying, " Yuuri was getting frustrated, "Why would you even think that?"

"What do you expect of me then? " Viktor shot back. 

"I'm being realistic about this, " Yuuri returned 

"I didn't believe you could be so cruel." Viktor didn't look up, hair falling to partially obscure his face. 

It was then that Yuuri noticed something he had never expected to see. Certainly not from the man who was always calm and confident and completely in control every time he'd observed him. 

Yuuri watched in awe as the crystalline droplets produced by those strikingly blue eyes, multiplying as they cascaded down the pale skin to fall on slender hands grasping at the robe he wore. Yuuri was struck speechless watching intently until he found his hand moving almost on its own to reach out to move the damp strands of platinum hair preventing him from seeing them clearly. Somehow it didn't seem quite real. 

"What are you doing now?" Viktor angrily swatted his hand away, facing the one who, in his mind, caused him this pain. 

"You're crying?" Yuuri said, "Did I upset you this much?"

That wasn't what he intended, not at all. Yuuri was quickly becoming torn between concern and irritation , not knowing why and how everything had gone so badly. 

"Of course you upset me, why shouldn't I be this way?" Viktor told him "I only just discovered my soul mate, a bond I did not believe possible for me, only to find I might lose you and now you are throwing me away?"

"It's not like that."

"Then tell me what this is?" Viktor said "I know we might not have time, I only want to spend it with you for however long we are granted. You ask me to leave you when I do not know what might happen in my absence? "

"If I keep you from skating you might grow to resent me." Yuuri reasoned " I couldn't bear that happening. You've spent most of your life on the ice."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Viktor wiped at his face, annoyed and confused. 

"I don't want you to leave me, I still need you here but I also need this. " Yuuri said quietly now, forcing his rising anxiety down "You can stay here, use the Ice Castle to teach Yuri the new program you promised him. Stay and train for the next season yourself until I'm in recovery or competitions begin. We can make plans then, see what I can handle. They don't get many customers anymore anyway and you being here could only help them. "

His childhood friends now owned the rink where he'd first tried to copy Viktor's routines and he knew they'd want to meet him. Hatsetsu itself could benefit from having such famous skaters practicing and living there. Better publicity than a Japanese former skater fighting for his life. Yuuri himself needed the motivation, if not a simple diversion. 

In his mind it all made perfect sense. 

"So that is all I am to you, " Viktor accused him angrily "You will use me to save your life, maybe I can also be useful as a tourist attraction while doing so? " 

"How can you believe I'd do that to you?" Yuuri countered. "You're not thinking clearly."

"And you are?" 

Yuuri tried to reach out again but the cold blue gaze Viktor gave him halted his effort. 

"Viktor -" Yuuri started to protest but he stopped, surprised by how upset Viktor had become and without a clue as to what he could do to prevent this from going even more out of control.

"I will not accept your words," Viktor told him "You should never make such an important decision without giving proper thought. Sleep on it and we will talk tomorrow."

Yuuri sighed, attempting to release his anxious tension. 

"I told you this isn't some rash decision, I've been considering things for awhile now." Yuuri said "Yuri just made me face what I'd been avoiding."

"He's too young to understand. Why would you listen to that moody child and not me your soul mate?" Viktor argued, then adding as if he were a spoiled child not getting his way "If you retire I will leave you."

"Now you're being unfair." Yuuri shot back "At least he's being honest. "

"And I am not?" Viktor's voice was thick now with emotion, his accent much more evident. 

"You're still not listening to me, Viktor, " Yuuri said 

"I hear you telling me not to give up when that is exactly what you are doing. " Viktor returned "And you seem surprised that I'm upset over this? "

"I'm not giving up, I don't know what I can do and I need to prepare for anything. " Yuuri said "It's all because of you anyway. I started figure skating because I watched you since I was very young. I wanted to be like you. I have so many posters of you, you have no idea how much of my life was spent watching and hoping to one day share the ice with you in competitions. That is the Viktor I first knew, the one who brought me my love for the ice. I know how much it means to you and that you probably only have a short time before you have to stop competing and I don't want it to be because of me. I wouldn't forgive myself if that happened."

"If I do as you ask how will I have time to be with you? I do not understand why you push me away now?" 

"And I don't get why you don't understand. " Yuuri countered "I'm not pushing you away. "

"Leave me, I'm too upset to argue anymore. We can discuss this later." Viktor waved him away, dismissing Yuuri and any further arguments. 

Yuuri felt completely defeated, it hadn't been his intention to hurt Viktor yet he had. Why couldn't he see that Yuuri wanted to see him skate again, needed to find his own motivation to continue on no matter what. He couldn't allow the Viktor he first knew to die, the legend that belonged to the world was still a part of the man Yuuri was getting to know. 

"I'll go, but I won't giving up. I can be very stubborn myself and I will not allow you to be forced into retirement because of me. " Yuuri informed him, getting up from his chair, amber eyes blazing with inner light.

He knew he was right. For all his awkwardness Yuri Plisetsky was also right about some things. 

Viktor belonged on the ice. 

If Yuuri himself couldn't he wanted Viktor to be there. Needed Viktor to be there. 

Yuuri stormed out of the room, too upset himself to close the sliding door as Viktor watched. Makkachin whined in concern,peeking into the room, glancing at the door and then to Viktor. 

"Go on Makkachin, stay with Yuuri tonight, it's okay." 

Without a second thought the mass of brown fur bounded after the younger man happily, leaving Viktor alone, sitting on his bed hugging his knees to his chest and wondering how it had turned so wrong. 

Would it be okay? 

Yuuri didn't understand that he was more than willing to give up anything to stay by his side no matter what happened. Viktor couldn't figure what his soulmate was thinking. 

It was going to be a long night.

 

\-----------------

 

"I may have done something stupid." Yuuri told Phichit not much later

He was sitting on his bed,the onsen now quiet around him, idly petting the large poodle whose head rested on his lap. The only light coming from his phone, casting deep shadows everywhere. Makkachin had abandoned his owner and settled on Yuuri's lap, snoring lightly in deep sleep. His mother said something about this, that dogs could often sense when someone was sick and would become a bit more clingy than usual. 

Still he felt guilty about this as well and made him miss his little poodle Vicchan. 

His mother had also expressed concern regarding their argument but he did his best to reassure her. It was nothing, everything was fine. 

He doubted she believed him.

 

"What happened? Don't tell me the two of you have broken up?" Phichit said, sounding more upset than Yuuri himself "Only a couple days after you tell me that THE Viktor Nikiforov was your soulmate. The man you've had a crush on forever and now you're broken up? What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything, Phichit. " Yuuri said "We had an argument and I walked out on him."

"But that is bad, very bad. You two are soul mates..... has he apologized yet?"

"We haven't talked." 

"No,.... that is definitely not a good sign." Phichit said, sounding extremely concerned. 

"It wasn't his fault, not entirely anyway." Yuuri admitted "I shouldn't have bothered you but I wanted to talk."

He needed to talk, to keep the voice in his mind insisting that Viktor would leave in the morning despite their bond. Yuuri knew the truth, deep inside he felt certain Viktor wouldn't leave. Even if that horrible part of his mind told him differently. 

"Of course you should bother me, I'm your friend and the one who brought the two of you together. " Phichit told him eagerly "I can help get you back together."

"It'll be fine. "

"I hope so. Everyone was so excited and happy hearing about you and Viktor, my posts had so many likes. He has to apologize." 

Of course Phichit sent out those pictures he'd sent of Viktor and himself in the hospital. Yuuri wouldn't be surprised if Phichit himself was solely responsible for everyone knowing why Viktor left Russia and his coach without saying anything about his career. 

"It isn't his fault Phichit, I told you that."

"Doesn't matter. You're my friend and if he hurt you I'm under obligation to make him pay." Phichit declared. "Let me talk to him. I'll make sure he makes up with you. If not there are people in this city that will help me."

Phichit seemed a bit too enthusiastic about that declaration. It crossed his mind that talking to Celestino about what his friend might be getting into in Detroit without him. 

"It's okay, really." Yuuri hoped he was right "It might be just the stress of all this. I should have waited to talk to him about my plans. "

After all Viktor had all this thrust on him in the last couple days, Yuuri had a lot longer to process everything. Against his will he yawned. The day had drained him of every last bit of his energy. 

"You're doing well, though, I hope you are. " Phichit said "I have to get to practice soon but I'll call later tonight for me, if you need to talk again don't wait. Okay?"

"Sure, can't wait to see your new routines."

"I am still so excited, Detroit is boring without you. " Phichit said "Get some rest, Yuuri. "

With a quick goodbye the call ended. Yuuri fell back on his bed staring around at all the posters adorning the walls, all of Viktor. The man had always been a part of his life. But he couldn't help the guilt creeping its way into his mind after bringing Viktor into his messed up life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A touch more angst, a little drama and some needed fluff as we take Viktor's view for a chapter as he comes to terms with some things,learns more about his soulmate by way of an unexpected helper, and reaches out to Yuuri to mend the damages done. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone again for all the support, I still hope the author who inspired this still doesn't mind. This story is becoming far more than I first expected and I am always grateful for reads,kudos and comments.


	11. Chapter  Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after their argument from Viktor's perspective.
> 
> A day that starts with Yuuri avoiding him, going into a brief tour through his past , performing for Yuuri and ending with fluff and a little humor. 
> 
> A little long of a chapter but I couldn't bear splitting this up, hope you enjoy it.

\--- I'm not taking sides, from what you've said both of you have good points and I await your telling me of your sweet making up. But you're afraid, it's that simple Viktor. You are in territory you've never walked so mistakes will be made. Perhaps if you start being honest with yourself and your love the tension might ease. Taking it out on each other in such an unhealthy manner will do only harm. Love requires time and effort my friend.---

 

Chris' words remained in Viktor's head the following day , disheartened by the fact that Yuuri chose to actively avoid him and his own guilt. They had talked for a long time, his friend consoling him and insisting all would be well. Viktor was far less certain, having never felt this way about anyone before and completely clueless as to what he should do. Chris had been right about that. It was frightening and confusing, but he only wanted more. 

The bond would grow stronger, his own research agreed with Chris, and in the moment when they joined physically it would be forever sealed. There was so much to look forward to, an endless bounty of experiences he wanted to share with Yuuri. 

If, of course, he could be forgiven for being such a coward. 

At breakfast he discovered Yuuri had been out with Makkachin, having not slept much the night before and his mother told them he'd already gone ahead to the rink. The thought of Yuuri walking there alone was unsettling but his mother was quick to put his fears to rest, insisting that one of the owners had come to walk with him and they'd never allow him to be harmed. 

Yurio himself ate quickly, announcing he was going to the rink and show them what a true figure skater of talent was. Viktor rushed to gather his things and follow but he was stopped at the door by an unexpected obstacle. 

Yuuri's older sister.

"Let him go, there's something I think you need to see." Mari told him, blocking his way, her eyes alone telling him she would was determined.

"You can do whatever later, " Viktor didn't mean to be harsh but he wanted to go, needed to see Yuuri and make things right. 

Yuuri had to understand that he'd willingly, without regret, do anything necessary for his soulmate's happiness. 

He also really didn't like the idea of leaving Yuuri and Yurio alone together either , the younger man saw nearly anyone as a rival. 

"You really don't get it, do you?" Mari asked him, her gaze stern and unyielding "Follow me, since he's gone ahead to the rink he won't be here to stop me. "

Viktor did as she demanded, reluctantly following Yuuri's sister back to the door of his bedroom. 

The moment she opened the door to reveal what lay inside Viktor could only stand in complete awe as this forbidden place and its secrets were revealed to him. 

"Wow." was all he managed to say.

There were posters all over the walls of himself in various times in his career, most of which he recognized bringing back long forgotten memories. The official pictures from his junior debut when he had been so wide eyed and joyful just to be doing what he loved so much to do, when Makkachin was only a puppy and they were out in the snow playing, back when he kept his hair long and in those pictures he seemed to glow with joy and energy. There were the official pictures with his many gold medals, images of when he was eighteen and decided to cut his hair not only to surprise his fans, the Prince of the Ice photo shoot where he actually sat on a throne, looking very much the part-- and so many more. 

He was grateful Mari waited outside the room without interfering as he allowed the memories to flood his mind, remembering when all he needed was his love of the ice and what seemed to be an endless flow of inspiration. It had been so easy, so perfectly effortless back then.

He wanted to feel that way again. 

Everything had become so predictable and empty before meeting Yuuri, no praise, applause or gold medals gave him more emotion. Nothing filled that growing ache inside himself that he used to be able to ignore. 

He understood why there were many accusing him of losing his edge, insisting his reign as the top male figure skater was nearing its end. 

So caught up in his mind Viktor was that he barely noticed Mari slip by him, taking boxes from underneath the bed and dropping them on top. 

Boxes full of magazines and even more posters. 

Mari nudged him, getting him to notice the boxes there on Yuuri's bed. 

Nudge was being kind, it was more of a jab to his shoulder forcing his attention. 

Yuuri quite possibly owned every magazine that he had been in, whether it be an interview or some photo shoot for a sponsor,no matter the language, it had to be here. So many of them placed carefully in sealed plastic for long term storage. He wanted to search through all of these treasures and see what each might unlock but there wasn't time. What might have seemed an odd obsession became an opportunity for Viktor to spend time among the shadows of his own past, wandering where he hadn't bothered to venture in far too long. 

This was a forest of joy, sorrow and a thousand places in between. A path in the center surrounded by towering shadows, illuminated at times by patches of sunlight and ending here in this clearing. 

"You understand how much you've meant to him?" Mari asked, breaking the silence all too abruptly " He's stronger than you might think and if you want to be worthy of him you can't just discount his wishes. He deserves better. Right now I'm thinking he probably deserves better than you." 

\--You've always been a part of my life. -- Yuuri told him that. 

Perhaps Yuuri had always known the truth and he had always been selfish. 

Viktor understood now and it made his heart sink even more. How could he have ignored the emotions of his soulmate, even if the bond was still new and fragile what he did he felt was inexcusable. Viktor knew the stories, Chris only reminded him, of how in time the bond would grow and strengthen. Viktor longed for such a deep connection with Yuuri, to know him as if he were a part of himself. He'd become very familiar with Viktor Nikiforov, the legend everyone else saw, but lost track of who he really was, the person Yuuri needed him to be. 

Despite his own fears there had to be a way to give Yuuri what he wanted and maybe more than he imagined possible. 

\-----------------

 

Yuuri was watching from outside the rink, looking away whenever Viktor attempted to catch his eye as he prepared to go over the routines. It was fascinating how Yuuri opened up, talking and laughing, with the couple who owned this rink and their three young girls. Being wary of possible germs, though, he did keep a certain distance from the girls , a boundary they did not cross probably due to their parents explaining the matter to them long before now. Today their only argument was in regard to their mother forbidding them from recording these sessions. 

He wanted very much to ask Yuuri how he was feeling today, to make certain he wasn't over exerting himself , to beg forgiveness for being an idiot , but he didn't wish to intrude. 

It was nearly impossible not to wonder if Yuuri was warm enough, was he as tired as those shadowed brown eyes appeared,had he eaten anything that morning and if he should be here at all. Right now the younger man needed to stay as healthy as possible so he could face what lay ahead and it wouldn't be delayed any longer. Delays were risks with consequences Viktor dared not consider. 

"Hey! Are we going to do this or are you going to stand there gawking at that pig all day?" Yurio's harsh, annoyed voice broke through his thoughts.

Until Yurio pointed it out, Viktor had been unaware how long and intently he'd been watching Yuuri. Before turning away he could swear he saw Yuuri flush red in embarrassment noticing that he was being watched. It was particularly adorable. 

"If I wish to, yes I might. " Viktor said, concealing his small grin as he prepared the music "This composition has two different versions, I created basic routines for both but I could not choose the one I wished to use. I will show you both and tell you which you may use." Viktor said, starting the music and gliding out onto the center of the ice, taking his position. " Both speak of a different facet of love, the first is In regards to love: Agape." 

The music started and Viktor began to move with it, hauntingly beautiful with an accompanying chorus as it filled the rink. 

"Agape is pure and selfless love, one of sacrifice, given freely and asking for nothing in return." Viktor told them as he moved with fluid grace through the basic routine. "The sacred love between mother and child, unconditional and never ending. "

The routine was matched with the music, ethereal, graceful and innocent in its beauty. When he finished only Yurio seemed unimpressed. Yurio radiated only impatience and irritation, nothing more than his usual state of being. With a sigh he returned to the music. 

 

"Eros," Viktor said as he reset the music "Sexual love, pleasure building on pleasure until you are drowning. "

This time the music was faster, more passionate and intense, building upon an echo of some traditional Spanish melody. Viktor allowed it to lead him away, guiding his body. 

He paused in his movements, briefly staring right at Yuuri with eyes burning with cold fire, reflecting everything he'd allowed himself to imagine even at their first meeting. Yuuri did not remember, but Viktor did and it was his intent now to test their bond. He wanted to share everything with Yuuri, all facets of this newfound life and love. If this was not what his companion wanted it would be disappointing but he would be grateful being allowed to be by Yuuri's side.

He was very pleased to see Yuuri flush a deep shade of red, stepping back but not looking away. Smiling to himself he continued on, driven by the pulse of the music as it throbbed within him. He glided with passion and seduction, stealing glances at his victim and inwardly asking if Yuuri wanted him, if he thought of him in this way now that he was here in person. It wasn't something they could indulge in now or most likely for months but certainly there was no harm in anticipation? 

The music built to its climax and in the end Viktor was not the only one breathing hard, and looking over he noted the girls were nowhere to be seen. 

Perhaps he'd gone a bit overboard. But no matter, his performance had been a success after all. 

"That one, give me that one." Yurio demanded quickly. 

Viktor met his gaze. "No."

"Huh?!" Yurio was more than startled "How can you dare-"

"As performers we must continually surprise our audience but we should also challenge ourselves don't you think?" Viktor told him "You will find the Agape within yourself and i believe I will keep Eros for myself. Just in case."

He caught Yuuri's eyes once again, pleased to see him flush pink. It was encouraging, noticing his reactions to his little performance. 

"What are you talking about old man? I thought you were going to take care of that-" Yurio gestured toward Yuuri in disgust.

"I have yet to make any decisions, are you afraid of the competition perhaps?" Viktor wondered , 

"Don't flatter yourself, just shut up and do what you promised. " 

Viktor replied in Russian for privacy, meeting the young man's anger. 

"You will do well getting to know Yuuri, you might learn something." Viktor warned him. "Agape will serve you well."

Yurio only gave a derisive snort and looked away. 

Now back to going through the routine with Yurio, later he would talk to Yuuri . 

\---

It wouldn't be until well after dinner until he'd get the chance. He'd asked Yuuri to come to his room that night but he expected the worst since even after their time at the rink Yuuri continued to avoid him. Footsteps in the hall outside were a welcome sound. 

"Viktor?" Yuuri peeked into the opening, hesitating. "You wanted to talk?"

He looked up from petting Makkachin's head at his guest, happy that he'd responded to the request but immediately confused as he fell to the floor in a low bow , begging forgiveness. 

"That is impressive, " Viktor admitted, he'd never seen such a thing done in person, and never with such speed and grace. "But besides being unnecessary I don't want you harming yourself." 

"But I was wrong,....so wrong.." Yuuri 's voice stumbled over the words as he got back on his feet. "I don't want you to think I'm not grateful for everything, or that I'm just using you-"

"Why would I ever think that when I regret what was spoken in my foolishness. " he smiled warmly at the younger man, finding his awkwardness endearing. "I have one thing I request from you, Yuuri. "

"Anything, Viktor. "

"Indulge me and come here, join Makka and me in bed tonight. " he patted the empty side of the large bed "We should get to know each other better, don't you think?"

Yuuri stared at him, wide eyed and not moving for a long moment. Viktor thought he might run away, but hoping he wouldn't. He wanted Yuuri to relax and enjoy their time together. 

"In bed,.... with you..." stammering still.

"Yes, in bed with me and Makkachin of course. " Viktor spoke calmly, soothingly. He didn't want Yuuri to run, not now or ever. "Do you not trust me?" 

That seemed to strike a nerve, creating a spark of fire in those deep amber eyes. A very good sign. 

"Of course i do." Yuuri straightened his stance, eyes flashing that all too brief defiance. 

"Good, now I will beg your forgiveness for my own lack of strength. Perhaps you can help me." he said 

"But I'm not-" Yuuri began to protest.

"Yuuri, do not be rude and ruin the moment, okay? " Viktor winked at him, hoping for another reaction. "You are so much more than you realize, one day you will understand. Now come to bed. Please." 

He reached out a hand to Yuuri, his gaze imploring. 

Yuuri did not take his hand but he did walk over to the bed, lifting the blanket and quickly slipping underneath as he took his position sitting not far from the edge and keeping careful distance. 

It was enough of a victory. Yuuri was here in his bed and Viktor wanted to make the most f this gift.

"I want us to spend all the time together that we can, the first weeks of your recovery I'm told we will be apart because your immune system will be compromised. I will not risk getting you sick." Viktor told him "Beyond that I have decided to wait until your recovery to make my final decision. If I return to competition we will have more decisions to make. Right now you are the most important concern for me and if you will allow me I will do everything to go beyond all your expectations. "

He met Yuuri's cautious gaze, doing his best not to be caught attempting to subtly inch closer and not disturb the sleeping furry companion at their feet. 

"Viktor I -"

Viktor ceased whatever his companion might have said by placing a finger against the younger man's lips.

"Now what did I say about ruining the moment?" Viktor teased him, smiling as he removed his finger from Yuuri's now trembling lips and slowly moving to cup his chin bringing their faces very close. 

Yuuri swallowed hard but he did not move, something Viktor took as encouraging. This was indeed a moment, one he couldn't possibly let slip by without doing something he would certainly regret not doing. 

Viktor moved forward slightly, touching his lips to Yuuri's in a light kiss, feeling a low shudder pass through the other man's body in response. It was soft, warm and producing a pleasant tingling sensation before Viktor pulled away. Yuuri opened his mouth slightly, an instinctive craving for more as if in protest. 

"Did I surprise you?" Viktor asked with deceptive innocence, hand travelling down the shuddering arms slowly. 

"You always do." Yuuri still avoided full eye contact

"Have you ever been kissed by a lover before?" Viktor asked, still keeping that tone . 

Yuuri's reaction had been too pure. In many ways it explained a lot if Yuuri was truly inexperienced in these matters. 

"Isn't that a little personal to ask?"

"But if we're going to be lovers we have to open and honest about everything. " Viktor pouted. "I don't mind being your first. My first-"

"I'm not ready to hear that, I'm not sure I ever want to hear that." Yuuri told him, startled and oddly more than a little angry. "I know I don't want to think about that."

"But Yuuuriiii..." Viktor couldn't help but feel disappointed. He wanted to know everything about his soul mate and share everything about himself. 

Even the parts he'd hidden away for all these years.

"Now who's ruining the mood." Yuuri was not so eager, speaking with an unusual defiance. 

It made Viktor want to laugh, but he dared not risk damaging his current good fortune. 

To his continued surprise Yuuri laughed and it was more than Viktor imagined possible, shattering his own unease and luring him into joining in. Their laughter only increasing when Yurio's shout came to them from somewhere nearby demanding that they shut up and let him get some sleep. 

Laughter dissolved into almost childish giggles as they heard him murmuring what were probably curses in his native Russian. 

 

 

It was still dark when Viktor stirred, still mostly asleep, yawning and reaching to hug the familiar warmth of his dog who was lying beside him. Strangely,though, he didn't feel the soft depths of fur. He really didn't want to wake completely, but it took far too long for his mind to process the information given. In the muddled haze of his mind he recognized that Makkachin was not there beside him. The body snuggling close to him was familiar though, also unexpected and very welcome.

Sometime during the time after the conversations ended and they'd fallen asleep Yuuri had migrated from the bed's edge and was now settled quite comfortably against his body, a soft brown covered head resting on Viktor's bare chest. When he shifted a bit he heard soft murmurings of protest in Japanese as Yuuri snuggled even closer along with what he felt certain was his name. 

Having no desire to wake his sleeping companion, certain that discovering his current situation, this moment would be gone far too soon, Viktor settled back down into the bed, drawing the covers around them. Closing his eyes he focused on the quiet,even, cadence of Yuuri's deep breathing and matching them as sleep claimed him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wondered what Viktor might think if he saw Yuuri's bedroom, this chapter helped me explore that in the context of this story- I enjoyed writing that scene and one other a bit more than the rest of the chapter. 
> 
> I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can, thanks to everyone for likes, kudos, comments and just taking time to read this story.


	12. Chapter  Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day: Yuuri wakes up alone and prepares two surprises for Viktor. One unintentional as they attend an appointment with Yuuri's doctor and one he is seeking help to plan. 
> 
> A serious talk with his doctor and a lot of fluff. We could always use more fluff.

Waking was something Yuuri did not want to do. 

For the first time in weeks he felt comfortable, warm and safe. When his mind began the slow ascent back into reality he resisted, drifting in and out many times before his efforts became less and less successful. 

With increasing awareness came a familiar scent, Viktor's scent, the captivating and expensive cologne he normally wore. He wasn't nearly awake enough to question why the scent was so strong here or why he reached out to hold something close to his body so he could bask in that comfort for a bit longer. 

When it felt so good he never wanted it to end, why question anything? 

It wasn't until he heard himself say Viktor's name in an almost pleading tone that his brain went fully awake, eyes opening wide with the realization of where he was and what he was doing.

He was lying in Viktor's bed, snuggling with Viktor's pillow and he was alone. 

Right now he felt fortunate that he was alone, considering this situation. It would be beyond embarrassing to be discovered like this. Even if he did find himself wishing Viktor had remained here with him. 

He didn't remember bringing his phone here last night, still it was there on the small table and signaling that he had messages. Viktor had probably left it, not wanting to disturb his sleep. Retrieving his glasses and the phone he discovered messages from Viktor telling him to get in touch as soon as he woke up, a couple pictures of Viktor and Yurio at the rink and one post he wished Viktor had not sent out on sns. Sometime that morning while he was lost to sleep Viktor had taken a picture of him. 

Along with other posts Phichit sent him a selfie proclaiming his happiness that Yuuri and Viktor were back together. 

Viktor had left at least five messages with what seemed to be increasing concern, causing him to smile unconsciously thinking how difficult it must have been for Viktor to leave him here. Yuuri was grateful, though, it had been far too long since he'd slept so peacefully. The phone also informed him that it was almost noon, that he'd slept almost twelve hours and reminding him of the doctor's appointment that afternoon. The appointment Viktor wanted to attend with him, the last before his treatments. 

Everything was happening so fast now Yuuri could barely keep up. He found it impossible to prevent himself from feeling guilty about bringing Viktor into all of this and his conflicting desire that Viktor stay by his side no matter the outcome. He liked the idea of relying on someone else but he didn't want to become an obligation and over burden Viktor. 

It was possible that he was only overthinking all of this. 

Once he'd replied to Viktor's text, assuring him he was awake and well Yuuri began thinking about their bond and what might happen in their future. He wanted to do something for Viktor, find a way to keep their bond even when they were apart. For that he would need help. 

 

\---------------

 

Yuuri kept quiet throughout the ride, staring off into the distance as his eyes seemed to sparkle. Viktor held his own silence, allowing his companion to work through whatever his mind demanded of him. He'd found this somehow comforting, this silence they shared between them sitting in the backseat of their ride. 

Yurio hadn't been happy when he left the rink to get ready for this appointment but this was far more important to him right now. Yuuri needed him and Viktor wanted to know everything that lay ahead of them. If he was going to be any help to Yuuri he had to be prepared. 

They didn't wait long before they were called into the office, a fact Viktor was grateful for. The waiting area was a confusion of conversations he didn't understand and emotions that nearly overwhelmed him. Inside the office a middle aged man wearing a white lab coat sat behind his desk, his attention on his laptop computer , but he looked up when the nurse let them in. 

"Dr. Ohashi, this is Viktor Nikiforov." Yuuri introduced them after a brief bow 

Viktor had been told he was a capable doctor with years of experience in these cases, he'd come highly recommended and spoke excellent English. This center itself had been a top recommendation for Yuuri. That made him feel a bit more at ease. 

"I've heard much about you and I regret we haven't met sooner but until we received family consent you must understand our position." Dr Ohashi told him, gesturing to the two chairs facing his desk. "Please have a seat and we can finally talk. You are also the donor, Mr Nikiforov?"

Viktor nodded, "Yes and we are also -together."

The doctor glanced at the screen of his lap top " I see that, and you are soul mates, very good. Something that is sadly becoming rare these days." he said "How are you doing Yuuri?"

"Okay, I think." Yuuri responded as he took his seat. "I still don't have much of an appetite and can't stop feeling tired but I did get a solid night's sleep last night."

"That is encouraging news, we have to keep you as healthy as possible for when you start the chemo treatments. Which is in- " once more on the laptop "in three days I see. The first will be here in this building, after that you will probably be admitted into the hospital so you can be monitored. In isolation again, to prevent infections. Before you leave today make certain they provide you with the proper information so you will be prepared."

"Of course Dr. Ohashi." Yuuri said in reply 

 

"As for the risks, I'm certain both of you realize that the risk that the cells might be rejected- that is our first concern. There is a higher risk considering the donor is not nearly a perfect match, not being family and being of Russian descent as well. It is our hope that being soul mates that might overcome at least some of the risks involved. There are medications to help prevent rejection, but our goal is that you will not have to be on them for long." he told them "What we are doing is destroying your blood cells, down to your bone marrow, and replacing them with what Viktor has donated. From the time of your first treatment to destroy your blood until some weeks after the transplant you will be closely monitored at increasing intervals. Infections of any kind must be avoided, illness as well until your immunity is rebuilt enough to stand on its own. At first it will be best for you to remain mostly isolated in a closed environment, only allowing as few as possible to come in contact with you."

"I can do that." Viktor put in, he wanted to take care of Yuuri. 

"But you have your obligation to Yurio, I won't let you ignore that." Yuuri argued back

"That is up to you to work out, all information about maintaining a proper environment will be given to you along with other information. Look over everything carefully." the doctor said "I see you passed your physical exams and the results of your blood work are back as well, Mr Nikiforov. You are in excellent health so there should be no problems on your end with the donated cells. Since we now have the proper forms signed by his parents there should no longer be a problem with you being at the hospital or further appointments. Now, is there anything you wish to be explained or are there any questions either of you have?"

"Yes," Yuuri spoke up "I want to know what we can do regarding sex."

Completely speechless, his mind rendered blank, Viktor turned to stare at Yuuri in pure disbelief. Of all the things he thought they might be talking about during this visit, this subject was something he neglected even considering. For his part, Yuuri sat there completely composed and focused on what his doctor was saying. 

The doctor spoke casually, completely unfazed, as he explained everything in detail and answering all the questions Yuuri asked him. Viktor found no voice of his own. His mind registered the conversation but he could not participate. 

There was the talk about waiting until he was healthy and strong enough for such activities, about using condoms and being careful and clean to avoid infections, injuries and sickness. There was also the discussion about intimate activities not involving penetration. It was advised they wait until Yuuri was well into recovery before doing anything too physically draining. It was also suggested they check out the patient website and contact others for further advice.

"Isn't it a bit soon for this? " Viktor couldn't believe he was saying these words, that it had been his awkward soul mate who brought it up first. When he could talk,this was the first thing out of his mouth. 

"I know we can't , not for awhile, but I wanted to ask while I thought of it." Yuuri told him "Things are going to get complicated, I don't know how aware I'll be for awhile and you might be away."

"Better to ask now while you're both here." Doctor said "I will give you the information in printed form and the web address to that site for patients that will be useful as well. Don't hesitate to reach out for help from others, there are email links provided for that purpose. This will be difficult for patient and caregiver so do not be ashamed if you need help. Neither of you are alone in this, our ultimate goal is for Yuuri to be healthy and cancer free and everything will be done to make that possible."

 

\----------------

It was late when they made their way back, the sun was setting and Viktor watched the pastel display in the sky as his mind processed everything he'd learned that day. Yuuri once again quiet and looking out the window on his side. 

"I'm sorry, you just surprised me Yuuri." Viktor said, breaking the silence "You're always surprising me."

"Really?" Yuuri flushed, casting a shy glance at his companion. "In good ways, I hope."

Viktor reached over taking Yuuri's hand in his own, needing that connection.

"Always. I've never-" he hesitated, uncertain how to continue. Sometimes words couldn't match what he wanted to express. "I don't want it to end." 

His words were quiet,barely audible but still they struck Yuuri to the core. Viktor's grip on his hand tightened and those beautiful ocean eyes met his with that adorably vulnerable,childlike gaze Yuuri felt certain only he was allowed to see. 

He wanted to be the only one who ever saw this side of Viktor. He hoped to discover even more of this Viktor no one else would ever know. 

Unable to find words of his own Yuuri simply drew closer, leaning against Viktor and closing his eyes, enjoying their silent companionship. One didn't always need words to convey thoughts and feelings, sometimes this was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did simplify a lot of things regarding this disease, I am taking some liberties as well since in reality such a cell transplant would be very risky since Yuuri and Viktor are not related and are from different regions of the world. For the sake of this story I hope no one minds(I'm factoring in the fact that they are soul mates )
> 
> Thank you to everyone again for reading, liking and even commenting on this. Next chapter out as soon as I can, hopefully within 10 days.


	13. Chapter  Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally the next chapter, thank you for your patience and I hope you are not disappointed.
> 
>  
> 
> A little bit of a time jump, a couple weeks after the last chapter and Yurio visits Yuuri in the hospital a couple days before the cell transplant. mostly in Yuuri's pov.

"You look like shit." Yurio made his observation the moment he entered the hospital room

Considering that the younger man now appeared as if he were about to perform surgery, Yuuri didn't believe he had reason to talk. Being in as germ free environment as possible meant anyone coming in had to respect procedure rules and cover almost every inch of their clothed bodies by wearing a disposable white coat, a cover for their hair, gloves and covers for their shoes along with a surgical mask. 

Amusing as it might be, Yuuri knew if he so much as smiled, Yurio would yell at him and storm out. 

The most difficult part was the fact that only the nurses were allowed to get close to him. Not being able to feel Viktor's arms around him when he got here was going to be torture. Being alone here wasn't helping him feel any better, even if it was necessary since his immune system was nearly nonexistent now. This last treatment would destroy whatever might be left. Right now as he sat up in his bed the I.V. bag hanging from its pole,dripped the chemo liquid into his system, preparing him for the transplant of Viktor's donated cells. Machines monitoring vital signs were a constant noise now. 

He'd honestly never felt weaker in his life and he found that fact annoying. The last thing he wanted to be right now was weak. 

Yurio caught his gaze, "Do not tell me what I look like in this ridiculous get up. " he grumbled , glancing back at the nurses "If I see any posts online -" 

"You can think you're in some movie if you want." Yuuri offered "Everyone has to wear it."

Yurio frowned, considering his gloved hands "Yeah, maybe." he said with less irritation "You're lucky Viktor's late or I wouldn't be here. So why am I here?"

"I'm glad you showed up, I really wanted to talk to you before the last procedure." Yuuri told him

"You should talk to him, nothing between you two is any of my business. I don't want it to be." Yurio told him , making no effort to conceal his want to be almost anywhere but here right now. 

Still, whatever his personal feelings regarding the situation, Yurio had come here just as Yuuri asked him to. 

"This concerns Viktor and me......... I'm asking for your help." Yuuri said "There are things I can't talk to him about. He has enough concerning him already."

That confession made the younger man's eyes grow wide.

"Huh? You want help from me?" Yurio was beyond surprised "What the fuck for? I didn't come here for anyone but myself, why would I help someone who only gets in my way?"

Taken off guard Yurio complained, Yuuri found it easier to just let him vent without forcing the issue. There were things that had to be done, had to be made certain of just in case. He'd listened to enough of people insisting he remain positive and not even consider anything but a good outcome to all of this. He knew Yurio alone would listen. 

"First thing I want is for you to promise me no matter what happens you'll take Viktor back to Russia on time for the coming season. He has to compete and I know if things don't turn out that well he's going to back out of the promise he made to me. " 

Yuuri was afraid he might even change his own mind, wanting to stay with Viktor. He couldn't let that happen, couldn't allow himself to become weak. He felt bad enough depending on everyone else so much after the chemo treatments made him so sick. One day he hoped to be able to enjoy his favorite pork cutlet bowl again, now everything tasted odd and he rarely felt able or willing to eat. 

There was also that horrible part of his mind, whispering that he would only become a burden to his family and to Viktor. Knowing the truth often did little to combat those doubts and fears invading his mind when he was most vulnerable. He needed to prove to himself that he could overcome this. 

Yurio made a derisive sound. "Idiot does that a lot, forgetting promises like a child. " he said "Wouldn't be worth all the effort I'm putting in if he isn't there to take down though, so I'll make sure he competes. If he doesn't I'll make him regret it for the rest of his life."

Yuuri barely concealed his smile, of course he could count on Yurio. 

"There's one more thing. " Yuuri said "After this, if my recovery goes well, I want to ask something else of you. I can't even bring this up to Viktor because he won't listen. I tried. But I need to get back into form as soon as possible, even if I might be testing my luck. I already talked to Nishigori and he's willing but if I'm going to skate competitively again I need your help."

Yurio was silent for a long moment, considering his options. 

"Viktor will be so angry if he discovers you're trying to skate before he thinks you're ready. Before the doctors have even cleared you, that's what you're planning, right?" he said "And you will only be another rival. What do I get from helping you ?"

"Winning isn't really worth that much if its easy though? " Yuuri said 

Those jade eyes glared at him as those words registered in his head. Competition was always better when your opponent is skilled, when there was a real challenge. 

"You think you could match Viktor?" Yurio sounded unconvinced.

"I want to be better than Viktor." it was the truth. "I know I can be."

Yuuri wanted to compete against Viktor, to take gold away from him. That goal he'd held since childhood remained strong and he couldn't let it fade. The desire to skate on the same ice as Viktor and to prove himself to be more than his match. 

"You're not going to be better than me," Yurio told him "But it might be worth it just to wipe that smug look off his face when he sees how irrelevant he is now. Show him even a pig like you could beat him. I've watched your performances and your jumps need work."

"Then help me land them." Yuuri offered "Help me get strong again quicker than anyone. Maybe I can help you in turn. "

"Why would I need help from you?" 

"You can't get Agape yet, and I'm sure you're tired of Viktor's lectures on the subject." Yuuri told him. 

Again that hard, green gaze met his, but not the same as before. There seemed to be something new there, but Yuuri could be mistaken. 

Looking away, Yurio moved his attention to the various machines in the room. 

"He thinks he's being helpful, " Yurio muttered mostly to himself, or that was how it seemed to Yuuri. "But all he does is lecture."

"I think he's trying to be a coach." 

"Well, he is failing. My only consolation is that he is easier to ignore than Yakov." Yurio told him "Most of the time. He should be more focused on his own skating."

"Will you help me then?" Yuuri asked him. 

"I'm only agreeing because I know how Viktor will react. " Yurio said "Someone needs to take him off that throne. His time has passed. If we are caught I will blame it on you."

"Then talk to Nishigori at the rink. They promised me they could work out how to keep this from Viktor." he said "He and his family are very nice, spending time with them might not be so bad."

"I seriously doubt that. I came here to make that idiot keep his promise, once I'm satisfied I'm leaving and I am taking him with me. " Yurio told him, now walking toward the clear,sliding door. "That is my promise and I do not forget."

"Good." Yuuri nodded, "If you see him wandering around send him up here."

Before heading out into the isolation ward where he would discard his temporary covers, Yurio remembered one last thing.

"Yuko told me to tell you that whatever you ordered is delayed, okay,though she would not say what it was. She said to tell you she's sorry. She also regrets not being here today. " he said, 

That was disappointing. Yuuri had hoped it would be here by now, but maybe this was for the best. What seemed perfect at the time sounded almost desperate now. 

"It's fine. " he assured Yurio "Tell Yuko and the others I'll see them soon."

" Sure,whatever." Yurio motioned to the nurse watching them to open the door, then adding just before slipping outside the room. "Good luck Katsudon."

 

 

What else did Yurio expect?

Stepping out of the elevator and after checking out at the main desk of course there was something causing a scene in the entrance. His prior annoyance at having to be here and all the things that stupid pig made him think about was magnified a thousand times once he realized the source of all the noise. 

Viktor Nikiforov, Russia's Legendary Ice Prince in all his self centered glory. 

Viktor was surrounded as usual, talking happily with the people around him, coffee cup in hand as if he didn't have a care in the world. It was beyond annoying. The old man had only gotten a little better since coming here to claim his soulmate. Not nearly enough for Yurio's liking though. For a moment he thought he might slip by unnoticed but of course, he didn't have that kind of luck. 

With a smile and a wave Viktor greeted him in that usual, too happy tone. 

Sometimes he could handle it. Right now it was like sandpaper grating at his nerves. 

"What a surprise Yurio, I didn't expect to find you here." Viktor positively beamed, leaving the group behind and walking over to him. 

"Stop calling me that. " he wasn't in the mood for this, given the situation Viktor was being inappropriate and the idiot did not care. " I never agreed to be called something else just to convenience all of you. Why does everyone expect me to bow to their wishes like I'm a child?"

"Yuri, I do not think this is-" Viktor started but never got a chance to finish.

"No,you never think do you? " Yurio said, his tone sharp and accusatory. "You're late. Do you believe he will just wait around hoping you'll grace him with your presence like those other idiots?"

His words and the icy glare he gave Viktor seemed to do the trick, as the smile faded and the great legend was taken aback. He didn't care. It was actually quite pleasing seeing that look in Viktor's eyes and making him speechless along with the others. Taking out his phone to make certain the car was waiting for him, Yuri strode past everyone and flipping all of them off just before going through the exit. 

Right now he really needed to get on the ice. 

It would make life easier if nothing else got in his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for all the kudos,comments and reads. Probably have the next chapter up in 10 days or so.


	14. Chapter  Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter!  
> Sorry for the long wait and I hope it was worth it, we're jumping ahead a little with this chapter and as always I am probably getting some things wrong and I apologize for my mistakes. My experience with this illness is before treatment only, everything after I researched and for story's sake there will be a bit of "suspension of disbelief" required. 
> 
> The next chapter should be posted pretty soon after this one, I finished most of it before this one anyway and thought I'd post them as a set after the long wait. 
> 
>  
> 
> Yuuri in recovery,Viktor's concern, a surprise and an argument -that is what is in this chapter.

The days following Yuuri's release from the hospital nearly two weeks after the procedure were long and boring for the most part. Sent home with him were several pills, some to prevent infections, one to keep his body from rejecting the new blood and pages of instructions. Yuuri wore his surgical mask constantly when outdoors or among groups, which he was told to avoid if possible. He carried antibacterial lotion as a habit, using it often, especially after playing with Makkachin. Until his new immune system brought itself back to strength he was forced to be extremely careful. As the days passed the restrictions lessened bit by bit and he enjoyed watching Viktor and Yurio practice. 

He didn't want to hide the fact that an ever increasing amount of nights Yurio would demand he be allowed to practice on his own at the rink when he was truly overseeing Yuuri as he struggled to regain his own strength. Viktor didn't question when Yurio told him he was letting Yuuri go with him whenever he was around. Most nights his sister or Nishigori took Viktor out for drinks or sightseeing, leaving Yuuri in his parent's care. It startled Yuuri how very weak he was at the start when even a walk with Yurio to the rink seemed to wear him out, on those occasions Yuuri simply watched the blonde skate doing his best to remember what he needed and endure Yurio's scathing remarks when he dared give a critique in return. 

Yuuri knew the secrecy couldn't last, but he hoped Viktor would come to his senses without forcing a confrontation on the matter. He only had a limited amount of time to spend with Viktor since he would be returning to St. Petersburg by the end of summer along with Yurio. That was only a couple months away and they'd only recently begun to share more intimate moments, though progressing no further than kissing and light petting and that after the doctor cleared it. The fact that it involved special measures to prevent illness or infection was something they found more amusing then annoying. 

At least it broke the mood before things got out of hand. Yuuri kept a secret about that too, the fact that he longed for when the doctor would give them the okay to take it further. So far his weekly visits showed a steady improvement, though despite talking to his doctor Viktor remained over protective. At times he was more unreasonable than he expected his mother to be. She understood that he'd never completely recover without effort. 

There was always the chance the cancer might return. No matter what precautions he took, how his immune system responded that chance would always remain and Yuuri felt determined to live his life to the fullest, he wasn't about to just sit back and let life pass him by as Viktor seemed to want. The need to see this through, to fight his way back onto the ice brought him this far.

Yuuri did remarkably well until the day Yuuko told him they had a surprise for him, arriving to walk with him to the rink on what he'd been told would be a day off but he'd found Viktor gone early that morning. They knew he couldn't be in a large group yet so he doubted they planned some sort of celebration regarding his recovery. 

Yuuko stopped him outside the rink for two reasons: one, to make him rest before they walked the steps up to the entrance, and two, to tell him to be certain he closes his eyes once they get there. 

"Won't be a surprise if you peek." she told him cheerfully. "I can't wait to show you, we've been planning it for nearly a week now."

"No one went through too much trouble did they?" Yuuri asked.

"You are no trouble at all for us Yuuri." she was beaming with her usual joy, calming him. "Never think otherwise. Now, ready to head up the steps?"

Yuuri nodded, inwardly cursing his weakness. Hadn't it only been a few days since he found it difficult to even make the walk here without stopping at least once? He needed to stop being so hard on himself. Thinking that way he made his way up the steps and did as she instructed, closing his eyes at the door and letting her lead him inside all the way into the rink's seating area. 

"Sit here and don't open your eyes until we tell you to." Yuuko was telling him as she rushed off. 

"Are you warm enough?" Viktor's concerned voice asked, coming to him from a short distance . "If you're tired we can always take a nap after."

The concern he felt flowing from his soulmate was both reassuring and troubling, Viktor being constantly reluctant to believe Yuuri needed more than rest and to be waited on. Yuuri didn't want to seem ungrateful but Viktor did not understand. 

Yurio's angry voice followed that. "We still need to practice, idiot. You think I'm going to let you get out of this just to go cuddle with your katsudon then you are mistaken." 

Yuuri couldn't help but laugh, something that probably only irritated the blonde even more. Whenever he was around Viktor's focus shifted from skating to other matters. Right now nothing mattered to Yurio more than getting his performance down to perfection and crushing everyone in his senior debut. Yuuri sat waiting , hearing low voices, rustling and in due course, the slicing of blades on ice. That sound always made him anxious, bringing out his desire to get back out there. He had no clue what they were up to, his only thought was that maybe the costumes had come in and Viktor wanted to show them off. 

"Alright, we're ready!" Yuuko shouted.

"Open your eyes,Yuuri, isn't it wonderful?" Viktor said

There before him in the center of the ice Yuuko and her triplets stood holding up a banner displaying Viktor's and Yurio's images and the announcement that surprised him completely. The banner declared an ice show, Summer on Ice in Hatsetsu, starring Viktor Nikiforov and a date only five weeks away. Not long before Viktor and Yurio were scheduled to leave. 

"Viktor?"

"Do you like it? I heard Yuuko saying how few people come here anymore, to this rink or to Hatsetsu and I wanted to do something for the people and place that gave me its greatest treasure." Viktor explained 

"All the ticket sales profits will be going to you Yuuri." Yuuko said "You and your family, to help with the medical costs. Just wait until you see what the girls want to skate for it."

"I'm looking into having it streamed online as well. " Viktor said, coming over to bring Yuuri to his feet and hugging him close. "We were so afraid you'd find out before we could make the announcement today. You have to check your messages, the response is better than we expected."

Yuuri honestly did not know what to say. That they would do this for Hatsetsu, this rink, his family's onsen and himself was more than a little overwhelming. He could feel wetness forming in his eyes but fought it back. 

"I want to do participate," Yuuri said "I know I'm not even near ready for much, but maybe a little skate if I work at it. We can do something together maybe?"

Viktor, as expected, did not agree. "No. I won't allow you to risk your health so soon." in that tone that accepted no argument.

Yuuri was tired of watching them skate, hearing them talk about their programs and what competitions they might be in during the coming season. He knew it was unrealistic believing he could compete along with them but his goal was for the next season, more than capable goal if he worked hard. Even his doctors agreed with him, he was getting stronger all the time and the transplant showed no signs of rejection. He was on a low dose of meds to prevent that from happening, among other pills. Most of his meds would be dropped in the near future anyway as long as his immune system continued to respond well. In Yuuri's mind Viktor's argument was only him being needlessly worried and over protective.

He wasn't a child. If he gained anything from his illness it was the stubborn desire to push himself to succeed no matter what obstacle he faced. He wasn't going to back down. The is wasn't the place or situation he would have chosen for this discussion but that choice flew out of his control the second Yuuri decided he'd had enough. He was too angry to register the others watching him in disbelief. Viktor should know by now how stubborn he could be. 

Yuuri would not back down. 

"My doctor told me I should start getting back to strength. I'm not saying I'm ready for anything tough but I want to get back on the ice." Yuuri tried to be reasonable. 

"Later, it's too soon for you to be doing anything but getting stronger." Viktor did not listen. 

"How can I do that if you're just going to keep me locked up unless you're with me. I need to get out, start working out and running." Yuuri argued. 

"I'm only thinking of you." Viktor countered "If anything happened to you now when we've had so little time together I would be broken."

"I know what I'm doing, I'm not exactly some casual skater." Yuuri shot back. "I'm certainly not a child that looks to be constantly supervised. "

"Yuuri, I realize that but maybe in a couple years.."

"A couple years is far too long. I'm not waiting any longer than I absolutely have to,Viktor." Yuuri told him, pushing away. "I don't know why you can't understand."

"Yuuri?"

Viktor watched helplessly as Yuuri turned and walked away, ignoring him as he headed into the lockers. To Viktor's surprise it was Yurio who stomped his way over to him.

"You really are completely clueless when it comes to others, you know that?" Yurio glared at him and stormed off in Yuuri's wake.

 

 

Yurio confronted Yuuri in the locker room, slamming the door to hopefully keep Viktor out. The man was getting too old and stupid in Yurio's opinion and he was looking forward to the day he could stand above him on the podium and shove his gold medal in Viktor's smug face. Of his many reasons for helping Yuuri, this remained his strongest. He found the dark haired man sitting on a bench, peering up as he slammed that door. It might not have been a necessary action but it made a point. 

Too bad Viktor would probably ignore it.

"I stand by my decision, you could do better than him." Yurio told him "Anyone could do better honestly. One day he'll realize not everyone sees him as some kind of God."

Yuuri smiled at that assertion, but he still felt bad about the argument.

"I should go back and apologize."

"For what?" Yurio said "He's treating you like a child. Gives me more reasons to help you."

Yuuri glanced at the doorway, halfway expected Viktor to show up and apologize but he knew that would not happen. In his mind Viktor was doing what he thought was best, protecting the one he cared about without asking what that person might want. Understanding did not make this easier, but at least Yurio remained supportive even if it was for mostly selfish reasons. 

"He'll likely forget all about the argument so don't bother sweating it." Yurio said. "His ignorance is useful anyway, you still work out here everyday, right?"

Yuuri nodded. "Minako has agreed to help me starting tomorrow as well. I think by the time the time the two of you leave I will start doing basic warmups on the ice." Yuuri said "I wanted you to show me how to do a quad salchow."

"We can work that out." Yurio assured him. "I'll show you a few times on the ice and when I'm back in Russia I'll watch you try it. Unlike Viktor I will not forget my promise. "

"I think I can convince him to let me workout at least. Why would he refuse that?" Yuuri reasoned. "I don't like keeping the rest secret from him."

"Not like he's giving you a choice. He's only just realizing other people are as important as he is."

"Viktor isn't that bad. " Yuuri said "Or maybe something happened to make him that way in the past but he is improving. If I give him enough time he'll agree with me about this. It is because of Viktor that I want to start competing again."

"I hope you're right, Katsuki" Yurio said. "cause if he finds out what you're doing behind his back he is going to be a hell of a lot angrier than he is now."

"Yuuri!" 

The door suddenly opened revealing Viktor, finally making his appearance. Both Yuuri and Yurio stared at him as he rushed inside, practically running to Yuuri who got to his feet and started walking away. He didn't get very far before Viktor grabbed him.

"You're always late." Yurio glared at Viktor passing him on his way to the rink, leaving them alone.

Viktor held him from behind tightly. "I don't want you to be angry with me." he said, quiet and close to his ear. "I only do not wish to lose you."

Yuuri sighed deeply, "I know, I get it but I'm not that fragile."

"I would never forgive myself if you were hurt. It is difficult enough knowing we will be apart for such a long time."

"You need to compete this season, it's what I wanted and what you want." Yuuri said "I won't let you ruin your career because of me. I'll be fine."

"I tell myself that, " Viktor said "This is new, I've never felt another's emotions before, I doubted the stories I heard of true soulmates. After all I lived quite a long time before finding you."

"Now you're telling me you're old?"

"Yurio says I am. I have won gold so many times and I don't want it to stop." Viktor said "Not until it has to."

"Then you know how I feel." 

Yuuri turned to face his despondent looking lover. Reaching up to wipe at the tears falling like diamonds from his eyes, it seemed unfair that this man could look so good even when so emotional. Viktor reached to cover Yuuri's hand with his own and bring it down to kiss his fingers. 

"You are already irreplaceable to me." Viktor admitted. "I want to do everything to keep you safe and happy at my side. Am I being so unreasonable?"

"Of course not, I feel jealous of everyone who gets to be near you when I can't. But trying to keep me in a safe place is only going to cause cracks in our bond." Yuuri explained. "I don't want to lose you either. Sometimes I wonder if when we're apart you might reconsider your feelings and I'd never see you again."

Viktor frowned. "I would never do that!"

"I know, but I think it's just part of all this. The doubts, the jealousy and loneliness ." Yuuri decided "You're not the only one new to this,Vitya. Because of you I am seeing just how complicated and varied love can be. You give me so much, one day I will give in return."

Viktor smiled at him, the tears disappearing from that perfectly beautiful face. 

"You give me more than enough." Viktor said, leaning down to place a quick and gentle kiss on Yuuri's lips. 

Viktor was learning, Yuuri believed he was and that he would understand fully once he continues pushing himself to his limits. He didn't want to lose Viktor but figure skating meant too much to him, was too much a part of his life that he couldn't imagine leaving it behind. The ice called to him.

He had to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the next chapter will be posted within hours of this one as an apology for the wait.
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter Viktor and Yuuri spend quality time together before the show, and Yuuri surprises Victor.
> 
> Thank you for your patience, hope you enjoy these new chapters. Kudo,comment,share and just read, support is always appreciated!


	15. Chapter  Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Yuuri share quality time together. Yuuri has a surprise for Viktor.

The place was quiet around him as Yuuri left his room and headed to what had once been an old banquet room previously used for storage, now taken over by their resident Russian figure skater. The man who Yuuri chased after for over half his life, the one desired by countless others, now waited for him. This wasn't the first time he'd come here at night, nor was it the first time they planned on sharing the bed and doing a bit more than sleeping yet this felt different. 

Because, of course, it was. 

This was what he wanted, what he asked for. Viktor had a way of surprising him, pulling him into places he'd never dared venture before. Now he held onto a reason to survive, to fight and come back from this stronger than before. The more Viktor gave him, the more he felt determined to give back a thousand times as much. He would never confess everything he discussed with his doctors and certainly not the fact that Yurio was his co-consipator in getting back into competition levels with his skating. That conversation would ruin this night and perhaps the ice show as well. He appreciated Viktor's eager willingness to care for him and protect him from further harm, but sometimes it became too much.

Yuuri had his own goals, further strengthened by his new desire to prove himself and share how much Viktor had done for him. Watching them practice for the show only served to heighten his resolve, one day he would regain his footing on the ice and surprise the world. 

Right now he only wanted Viktor. Needed to make reality all the dreams and images in his mind accumulated through all his life until now. 

"There you are," Viktor's voice greeted Yuuri the moment he showed up at the door to Viktor's bedroom. "I was beginning to think you changed your mind. "

"No, " Yuuri stayed at the entrance, amber eyes peering inside at the dimly lit room, glancing briefly at the large bed. "Yuuko called when I got out of the shower. They are convincing Yurio to go with them somewhere."

"Good. He needs to do more than practice." Viktor said "Now will you come in and spend time with me at least. "

Viktor was sitting on the room's couch, pouring liquor from a bottle into one of two glasses on the table when Yuuri hesitantly stepped inside. They were alone, other than his sister who stayed behind to take care of the onsen while his parents went out on a night paid for by Viktor and Yurio was at the rink along with Makkachin. The ice show would be in three days and after that they would be gone. Viktor refused to work on his free program here, wishing to keep it a secret from Yuuri. 

After receiving an okay from his doctor and enduring the ever increasing intensity of kisses and touches Yuuri had asked for this. Though he really hadn't expected Viktor to take it so seriously once he realized Yuuri had never become so close to any of the handful of people he'd dated. Relationships beyond friendship never lasted. This was new territory and despite his reluctance Viktor agreed, insisting only that Yuuri trust him with the details. 

"Would you like some?" he asked Yuuri.

Yuuri shook his head. He wanted to be clear for this, to remember everything though he felt more nervous than before any competition. 

"No?" Viktor sighed and downed his glass quickly before setting the glass down and walking over to the bed. He took a seat and patted the bed next to him. "Come and sit with me, Yuuri."

For a moment Yuuri considered the possibility that Viktor might be nervous as well but discounted the thought. Certainly the Russian possessed a lot more experience in these matters. He trusted Viktor but right now he felt completely unmatched and the thought became oddly irritating. He wanted to be an equal in every way, to challenge Viktor as much as Viktor challenged him. But in this moment Yuuri was at a loss. 

Yuuri sat on the bed's edge, feeling suddenly more awkward and uncertain as his right hand sought confirmation that what he'd placed in the pocket of these pajama pants remained there while avoiding Viktor's curious gaze. What seemed like a perfect idea now appeared to be a sign of desperation. He'd obviously worked hard at preparing all of this and Yuuri had no wish to ruin anything, especially since he was the one who'd insisted they do this now, he wanted this. How could he allow Viktor to leave in five days not knowing when they might be able to be together again, without sharing the things he'd secretly longed for all the years before discovering the truth? 

Viktor was his, always meant to be his and he was meant to be Viktor's. 

So why was he still so very nervous? 

Why did that horrible voice deep inside keep whispering doubts? 

Yuuri carefully removed the box from its hiding place, concealing it in his hands and shutting his eyes and forcing himself to relax. 

"Are you all right, Yuuri?" Viktor's voice came to him before he felt the familiar presence settle in a little closer, the enticingly soft scent of expensive cologne teasing at his nose along with the aroma of shampoo and soap. 

"I'm fine." Yuuri assured him, his words were not entirely truth. The very presence of his soulmate prickling deep in his skin, enhanced by his own sense of anticipation. 

Yuuri was so very 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓇𝑒 of Viktor. 

Beside him Viktor appeared calm, the very model of Eros, his pale, lean muscled body draped in only a robe. Yuuri's attempts at drawing from that calm, certain sensuality were failing miserably. A part of his mind reminded him of the drink he'd seen Viktor down so quickly and only that succeeded in convincing him that perhaps the other man was not as composed as he seemed. 

"You know it will be okay if you're not ready. We can just spend the night talking or whatever you're comfortable with. " Viktor assured him. "You have to remember that. No matter what you can always stop everything if you're uncomfortable, nothing will happen that you do not want or enjoy."

"That's not it." Yuuri felt momentarily disgusted by his own uncertainty, meeting Viktor's concerned gaze he quickly handing over the small box before he lost courage. 

"What is this, a gift for me?" Viktor accepted it, eyes shining with joy.

"Minako and Yuko helped me pick these out, I wanted something that would bind us closer together when we're apart. Something to thank you for everything, a charm I guess that would be a lot easier to see and feel than our marks. Sorry if its not right , I couldn't decide on anything else and I wanted something others would see as well. " He looked downward again "Kind of selfish and desperate of me, right? I mean, we've really only known each other for four months and its not like I believe you'll abandon me or anything. "

Viktor sat in complete silence, carefully opening the box and inspecting the two gold rings inside with wide eyes, he tips of his long slender index finger gliding carefully over the smooth surfaces. Yuuri felt even more self conscious, suddenly fighting the urge to grab the box and apologize. Surely he'd made another wrong decision. It was too soon, and he couldn't find the right words to explain how he felt or what he wanted the rings to represent for them. Everything remained such a mixed up mess in his mind and heart. 

Maybe it was something he couldn't possibly explain. 

Viktor held his silence, taking one ring out and seeing the snowflake so expertly etched there in bright rose gold, standing out against the rings tone. A near perfect copy of their soulmark. Something Yuuri insisted on being there. 

"Yuuri?" soft, unsure and very unlike Viktor's usual voice. Strangely fragile ocean eyes met his, making Yuuri's heart jump as he felt the flow of emotions coming from the other man. 

Oddly enough they seemed to mirror his own. 

Running away seemed like an even better idea now. Maybe he would be lucky and a hole would open up and swallow him, sparing the embarrassment. 

"I wanted some way to be with you while you are competing, like I said it can just be a charm. " Yuuri told him, "If its not right I can get something else. I'm bad at these kind of things since I haven't had much practice. Maybe tomorrow we can go-"

"No." Viktor's now serious tone halted anything he might have said, the eyes focused on Yuuri blazing with something else. "Why would I want anything else?"

"After the ice show you'll be leaving, I will be watching you but I won't be there." Yuuri tried to explain, deciding he was only making this more awkward.

Viktor seemed completely oblivious to Yuuri's current state and returned the box,presenting his left hand and eyes sparkling expectantly. Yuuri fumbled to select the correct ring, very carefully placing it on Viktor's finger which Yuuri could swear shook a little at his touch. 

"I will skate my very best and show our love to the world." Viktor told him, placing the other ring on Yuuri's finger. "You will be with me out on the ice."

"I'd like that." a surprisingly easy admission. With Viktor he wanted, needed to be selfish. 

His words were cut short as with a squeal of pure delight Viktor threw himself at Yuuri, arms wide to hold him close as they collapsed onto the bed. 

"You make me so happy, Yuuri!" Viktor tightened his grip, catching the younger man's mouth before he could hope to protest. 

So easy to return whatever Viktor gave, each kiss only adding to the fire spreading in his veins, each touch a spark turning to lightning. Yuuri found it impossible to sate himself, demanding more and more so much so that he became frustrated. The robe, now a barrier between his fingers and the warm, softness of that pale skin. Whatever Viktor gave couldn't possibly be enough, a taste that only created a deeper, more primal hunger. Before they'd always stopped, Viktor refusing to take matters further due to his concerns. Even now Yuuri felt his lover hesitate. The brilliant aqua of his eyes meeting Yuuri's though Viktor was positioned there between his legs and they were naked and Yuuri only had a fragmented memory of how and when this happened. 

Somehow there was an unwrapped condom resting on his stomach and a small bottle in Viktor's hand. They were both flushed, lips bruised and breathing hard. Yuuri sought to reassure the only way he could think of in this moment, by grabbing the platinum haired head and bringing him back into a kiss of pure fire. Viktor pulled back so he could watch Yuuri as he took his lover's length in hand and stroked it , winking at him.

"So, this does not need further encouragement. " Viktor said, "Do you still want me, my love?" Viktor's voice was thick now, the accent more than noticeable.

Yuuri reached up to thread his fingers through that silken hair, "I've dreamed of this for so long, you have no idea."

"Well, I did see your room." now Viktor was laughing. "You really did get lucky with me as your soulmate."

He was teasing, Yuuri knew this but now of all times... 

"I was never just some fan boy." Yuuri argued

"Of course not, " Viktor smiled happily, sliding down to that spot where he burned and pulsed only to first lick the length along the most sensitive side and then place a gentle kiss at the tip before looking up at him with deceiving innocence. "You are Yuuri Katsuki the man I love. Now if you will relax and allow me to show how grateful I am for you, I will delay no longer."

One day Yuuri decided he would do his best to return all he was given, but now he could only drown himself completely in Viktor Nikiforov and pray to whoever or whatever might deign to listen that this bond would remain for as long as possible. 

 

Hours later , in the calm and quiet aftermath, Yuuri rested safe in Viktor's arms in bed. The room had grown dark, the bottle of water placed on the table near the bed nearly empty. It was so quiet Yuuri could hear the beat of their hearts, soft and steady and almost in synch. 

"Are you alright?" Viktor asked, concerned as always. But this time it was comforting. "I wanted you to enjoy our time together but if it was too much or I hurt you-"

Yuuri gave him a reassuring smile, taking Viktor's hand in his and trying to calm him by stroking it with his fingers. This was the Viktor no one else would ever see, the almost childlike Viktor free of the persona that had nearly consumed him. That great Ice Prince so adored and feared. 

"I'm more than fine,Vitya." Yuuri said "You always give me more than I could ever think to ask for and I knew you wouldn't hurt me."

"I want you to be safe and confident, here with me and always." Viktor said "If there is anything you might want do not hesitate to ask. "

"Anything?"

"Absolutely." Viktor assured him "If we can not learn to trust each other here then we have nothing,right? Besides I want to see your Eros soon."

"My Eros?"

Viktor nodded, "You've only given me tiny peaks of it and I wish for you to seduce me inescapably harder than you do now."

"I seduce you?" Yuuri found that difficult to believe, he was no match for this man. 

"Oh Yuri, you have no idea what you do to me." Viktor said. "For now that is for the best probably. I'm not ready to lose everything to you."

"I doubt that's possible. The last thing I am is Eros." Yuuri told him. 

Viktor sighed contentedly and drew Yuuri closer in response. 

"It's you that keeps surprising me, my love. " Viktor said "Showing up just when I had decided it would be better to remain alone. How quickly you are becoming everything to me."

"It's new for both of us then." Yuuri said, settling into the embrace. "I'd like it if we could be like this forever."

Somewhere in the house he could hear sounds and voices as the others were returning, smiling against Viktor's chest listening to Yurio chastising Makkachin for wanting to rush and locate his missing owner. If not for Viktor he might have missed all of this and not realized just how complex love could be. Yuuri felt more determined than ever to show all of them his gratitude and his feelings for them. He had a lot ahead of him, but that could wait. This moment he wanted to never forget, to keep it for those long weeks when they were apart. Here, covered by a blanket, safe in the arms of his soulmate not a single thing could harm them.

"I've been wanting to ask you something." Viktor said, breaking the silence. 

"Is it important?" Yuuri felt far too comfortable for a serious discussion, 

"It's something I want you to think about. " Viktor's fingers played with his lover's hair, marveling at how the moonlight played on the dark strands like stars. "I don't expect an answer right away but give it some thought."

Yuuri frowned at him, "What is it?"

"I'd like you to consider moving to Russia and living with me there. I have such a large place and Makkachin would be happy having you there with us." Viktor told him "When you are ready to train again you will have both myself and Yakov. He yells a lot but there is no better coach, though I will do my best. Maybe it is too early to ask for even this, but you make me realize how lonely it can be there. I want to be with you as much as possible too. I haven't talked to Yakov about it yet but I don't see why he'd refuse."

Yuuri was helpless against the sudden flow of tears that came to his eyes as he clung tighter to Viktor, burying his face in his chest. Though he tried, words simply refused to form anywhere beyond his mind but Viktor didn't seem to mind. They clung to each other in silence until Yuuri felt sleep overtaking him. Tomorrow, Viktor promised, they would spend the day together. 

Tomorrow,Yuuri thought as the darkness wrapped him like a cocoon, was a nice thing to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, hopefully after a not so nearly long wait, the ice show, promises and partings.


	16. update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the well wishes. It means a lot. I hurt my leg and am now in rehab sadly without my laptop.

Update. Sorry I have been in hospital and without my laptop so no new chapter. I have been writing notes so soon hopefully. Mostly about Viktor discovering Yuuri is training despite his wishes and their makeup. Having trouble with the argument between Yurio and Viktor. Soon I hope maybe a couple weeks. Thanks for hanging in.

next chapter is giving me trouble too. But soon

going to be longer sorry but I am still writing drafts and maybe I can get my laptop. Now writing the kinky chapter. Clues in the tags. I am not giving up on this.


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